During an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, the 36-year-old reality star teared up as she recounted how masked men held her at gunpoint at her apartment during Paris Fashion Week in October 2016.
“I know this sounds crazy, but I know that was meant to happen to me,” she said, getting emotional. “I don’t want to start crying, but … I’m such a different person I really feel like things happen in your life to teach you things.”
“It was probably no secret, you see it on the show me being flashy, but I was definitely materialistic before,” Kardashian West continued. “Not that there’s anything bad about having things and working hard to get those things — and I’m really proud of everyone that’s around me that’s successful. But I’m so happy that my kids get this me. And that this is who is raising my kids. Because I just don’t care about that stuff anymore, I really don’t.”
Kardashian West recalled opting to stay in while bodyguard looked after her sisters Kourtney Kardashian and Kendall Jenner as they hit the town in Paris. When she heard commotion in the hallway, she assumed it was her family returning.
In reality, robbers had threatened the concierge and forced him to open the room belonging to “the rapper’s wife.”
“Automatically your stomach drops. It’s a feeling you can’t explain. And I knew that was it for me. Hundred percent [knew I was going to die],” Kardashian told DeGeneres, 59. “I said a prayer, I’m like, ‘I know I’m going to heaven. I hope my kids are okay, my husband.’ I don’t want to cry, you’re making me cry. But it does happen really fast. It was a good seven or eight minutes of torture, but when I look back and analyze it, I’m like, ‘Okay, they weren’t really aggressive.’ It could have been way worse.”
Since the October Paris robbery, Kardashian West has pulled back from the public eye — not flaunting her material items on social media.
“It’s not worth it,” she said. “I don’t care about that stuff. I don’t care to show off the way that I used to … It’s just not who I am anymore.”
This article originally appeared on PEOPLE.