Does your mum ever call and say, “Abbie, I wish you didn’t do that …”?
The only thing she’s ever questioned me on was a post on Instagram where I was dancing and singing ‘Shout to the Lord’ with hot cross buns, and in the caption, I wondered if Sister Elvera, my high school principal, would love it. Anyway, my mum called me and asked if I thought Sister Elvera would be upset. Umm, I don’t think Sister Elvera follows me on Instagram – the nuns are all 90 and they live in a convent, Mum!
Then she called me the other day about a post where I’m talking to a vibrator, and she said she had tears in her eyes because she thought it was so funny. My whole family is very supportive, especially because of all the trolling I went through after The Bachelor. Trolls try to get to me by saying things like, “What would your father think?” And I’m like, “Umm my father left when I was born, so, not sure.” But my uncle is pretty stoked about it all. He’s so proud of me.
You’re becoming a bit of a feminist icon!
That makes me really nervous! It’s so lovely, but I don’t think I’m a feminist icon, yet. I think that title goes to Clementine Ford, who I adore. The role model thing scares me. About 40 per cent of the positive messages I get are from mums that have 13- to 16-year-old daughters, and they tell me that their daughters follow me, and that they wish they had someone like me on the internet when they were growing up.
You’ve also spoken about some serious topics, such as your abortion. How has that been received?
I’ve had people message me about my abortion video and thanked me because they needed it and could relate. And it’s really cathartic for me, too. I wish I’d started doing it earlier, even before The Bachelor.
When you were on The Bachelor, it looked like some of the other women were either offended or intimidated by your confidence and sexuality. Was it like that off-camera?
At the start, no. I explained to a few of them how to masturbate and I would tell them how to do anal [sex]. I would literally draw a butt! Then, when the show was airing, someone anonymously said I made them uncomfortable for talking about my sex life. I was like, “You were all asking me for advice!” They thought of me as a sexologist and sex coach.
Did you take on the same role with the Bachelor in Paradise cast?
Oh, no. I just wanted to try and avoid the experience! The only enjoyable part of The Bachelor was when I was with Matt, so I kind of wanted to go into Bachelor in Paradise with no expectations and to see what would happen. I don’t think I was the sex therapist. They filmed 24/7 in Paradise, so no-one was going to come and ask me how to masturbate on camera! And also, there are boys there. It’s like school camp.
Did any of the guys on Paradise take a shine to you?
When you’re in Paradise it’s really weird because you know each other from TV and a lot of them message you when you’re on the TV. Everyone goes in there wanting to see who they will get along with. I don’t think anyone was that keen on me, to be honest, at the start.
I was really anxious because I thought everyone would hate me because of my Bachelor edit. Before I went in, a guy I’d met about a month before I went on The Bachelor told me that if he hadn’t met me before he’d watched it, he would have never spoken to me. So I went into Paradise very scared!
TBH, we thought you ended up a bit of a hero by the end of Bachelor...
I had women say to me, “You’re a boys’ girl. You’re the type of girl who would steal someone’s boyfriend.” But I don’t have many male friends. They saw Chelsie [McLeod, who won the series]– who I love – as this innocent, helpless little thing, and if I’d won, then I’d ‘stolen’ Matt from her.
The perception was, if you’re sexual, then it’s performative, when really, it’s become evident after the show that I am actually just like that. My friends and I joke that I can’t flirt for s--t. When I’m out and I meet someone, I’ll talk to them for 25 minutes and then I’m like, “Do you want to go home and have sex, or not?” I don’t like to mess around. I’m not trying to be manipulative; I’m just being honest and I don’t have the patience to try and test the waters.
So what’s next after the podcast?
You know what? I’m really happy with how everything is going right now. The podcast is doing really well. I have a really good following and I’m finally shedding people who are following me just because of The Bachelor and getting people following me because of who I am as a person. And the trolls are starting to unfollow me because I just call them out.