Over the past seven days, millions of fans and the EDM community have flooded social media to mourn Avicii‘s sudden death at age 28, now, the late musician’s girlfriend is opening up about her loss and also sharing a glimpse into their very private relationship.
On Friday, Tereza Kačerová, who was dating Avicii — born Tim Bergling — at the time of his death, posted a montage of photos of herself, Avicii and her son, Luka on Instagram.
“The brightest stars burn out the fastest,” the model wrote along with a series of pictures including a snap of Avicii and Kačerová’s young son curled up together in bed.
While the pair opted to keep their romance out of the spotlight – the model had only shared one picture of her boyfriend on social media previously and his face was not visible – the many candid moments of the trio show a very content looking Avicii and the three look very much the picture-perfect family.
According to Kačerová, the pair had discussed being a family and had even picked out baby names.
In two follow-up posts, Kačerová penned a heartfelt tribute to her late boyfriend and in it explained that they had planned to make their relationship public once she fell pregnant.
Kačerová wrote she “was always very set on keeping [their] relationship private” explaining that she “wanted it to be OURS and ours only and wanted no part in that madness.”
“But I thought, if I’m going to share this with the world, it will be when I’m pregnant with our child,” she shared, adding, “Ohhh how that plan went awry.”
“Dear Tim, I’ve spent the last days waiting to wake up, waiting for someone to tell me that this is some sick joke, some awful mistake. I think it’s finally settling on me now that I will truly never get to see you again,” Kačerová began her letter.
She continued: “The first couple of days I harassed your friends (are they SURE IT’S REAL?!, demanding proof, WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!) and googled articles to read that they had it all wrong. Every time I saw ‘RIP’ and ‘Avicii’ together in one sentence or an end date to your life, I felt shock all over again.”
“When I saw they had changed your bio on Wikipedia from ‘is’ to ‘was’, I sobbed. I’d stare at it for minutes at a time, trying to decipher why it says that you died on April 20, 2018. It didn’t make any sense,” added Kačerová. “You are too young and wonderful and I love you too much for you to have that written by your name.”
Kačerová went on to say that she “used to tell” Avicii that her son would “never remember a life without [him],” but now she hopes “that he will remember his life WITH [him].”
“I’ll be there to remind him,” she shared. “I’ll show him the videos of him constantly calling out to you wherever he and I were.”
In her final Instagram post, Kačerová shared a video recording prior the deejay’s death showing her baby boy calling out for Avicii after the star left the house temporarily.
“Tim and Lucas had just stepped out. I feel like Luka now,” Kačerová captioned the video.
While filmed prior to his death, the video is heartbreaking as the little boy walks around searching for the star, repeatedly calling out: “Tim!”
Kačerová shares Luka with Andi Mack actor Trent Garrett.
Kačerová also reminisced on the last time she ever saw the deejay. “Last time I saw you, I got my Lolita book back from you because I was going to give it to Maya and knew you would never read it,” she shared.
“You insisted that you would… and now you never will,” said Kačerová, who named off more things the producer will never be able to do, including, reading “Czech books to Luka again as he and I both crack up at your pronunciation.”
“Every time I think about something we won’t finish, I feel physical pain in my heart,” she added as she revealed the couple was almost finished with a Harry Pottermarathon. “We had the last one left,” said Kačerová.
“I never finished persuading you that our daughter’s name MUST be Serafína,” continued Kačerová.
Kačerová recalled the pair’s first and second dates and how the couple’s relationship “shot to the stars.”
“We were so happy together,” reminisced Kačerová, adding that “together” they were “a perfect duo.”
“And now, now I just want to jump into a pool of cold water and be torn out this nightmare,” she admitted.
Kačerová went on to say that she’s “afraid to turn on the radio in case one of [the producer’s] songs comes on.”
“I’m afraid to drive up Sunset Plaza with Luka in the car because I know he will yell TIM!!!! when he sees which way we are going,” she continued. “I am afraid to talk to anyone in case they bring you up because I’m afraid all these things will make my heart shatter.”
Kačerová ended her heartfelt tribute with Thomas Edison’s last words. “I read that before he died, Thomas Edison came out of a coma, looked upwards and said ‘it is very beautiful up there,'” wrote Kačerová. “Take comfort in that. REST IN PEACE, TIN. Try to come back to Earth soon so that you and Luka can play together again. Love, Tereza.”
Avicii was found dead in Muscat, Oman on April 20. His rep previously confirmed to PEOPLE in a statement: “It is with profound sorrow that we announce the loss of Tim Bergling, also known as Avicii. He was found dead in Muscat, Oman this Friday afternoon local time, April 20th.”
Continued the statement: “The family is devastated and we ask everyone to please respect their need for privacy in this difficult time. No further statements will be given.”
On Thursday, the family of the late Swedish deejay released a new statement implying the star died from suicide, according to Variety.
This article originally appeared on PEOPLE