Did anyone hear that ex-Bachelor producer spilling the beans on Fox FM’s Fifi, Fev and Byron show this morning? Maybe not. Maybe you read about what ‘Steph’ had to say via a national news site. Or maybe you caught the tail-end of it all during a workplace kitchen catch-up where it was being discussed.
You didn’t? OK, let me recap.
This morning, a woman named ‘Steph’ went on a breakfast radio show. She claimed to be an ex-Producer of Aussie version of The Bachelor (she worked on Tim Robards’ season, apparently), and she certainly was chatty. So chatty, in fact, that she spilled the beans on a host of Bachelor gossip, all but destroying the show for me.
What was it she said that annoyed me so much? Pretty much all of it.
For a start, she let slip that producers ‘guide’ their charges to choose certain people. Apparently their alcohol intake is also monitored - just two drinks an hour (so yeah, they’re not as wasted as we all think they are). Also, the rose ceremonies are sometimes filmed over two nights, Bachelors are encouraged to keep the crazies, and one of the contestants from one of our series has since hooked up with a cameraman - and they have a baby together!
OK, so yeah - none of this is really news to me (cept the cameraman baby thing - if you’ve got the goss on who that is, let us know). As a big fan of Stan’s superb drama series, UnREAL, which looks a whole lot like it could be based on The Bachelor (and, side note, the show’s creator Sarah Gertrude Shapiro, once worked as a producer for the US version), I wasn’t too surprised - I get that a lot of this stuff is manufactured.
But here’s the thing - I don’t want to know for sure.
I want to sit on my couch eating my child’s leftover Easter Eggs, watching all this bat-shit craziness unfold, believing it’s all 100 percent real.
I want to believe that in this crazy world where all eleven MAFS couples have since parted with their TV partners, that real love exists. And that, against all hope, our favourite Bachie rejects have every chance of finding lasting happiness on an island in Fiji.
Don’t ruin this for me, Producer Lady.
Don’t you dare make me face up to the reality that none of these people find their One. Don’t you DARE make me believe those news reports that said that Soph and Stu Laundy weren't ever the real deal (they were, right? Oh please tell me they were!)l And don’t you dare make me believe that Blake Garvey wasn’t anything but the dreamily perfect real estate auctioneer I wanted him to be in my head.
Just - no.