The cookbook author and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model recently revealed her bouts with postpartum depression in a essay for Glamour‘s April cover story, in which she wrote about how her life changed after she and husband John Legend welcomed little Luna. PEOPLE had an exclusive first look at the story Monday.
“Getting out of bed to get to set on time was painful. My lower back throbbed; my shoulders — even my wrists — hurt. I didn’t have an appetite. I would go two days without a bite of food, and you know how big of a deal food is for me,” she wrote.
“I couldn’t figure out why I was so unhappy. I blamed it on being tired and possibly growing out of the role: ‘Maybe I’m just not a goofy person anymore. Maybe I’m just supposed to be a mom,’ ” she said.
The model mom credits her husband John Legend for his unwavering support with helping her through. “He’s exactly as compassionate, patient, loving and understanding as he seems,” she wrote.
“It’s a difficult thing to be a new father and for my wife to be a new mother,” Legend told PEOPLE in this week’s issue.
“[Parenting] advances the level of partnership you share. It’s exciting to see how we as a couple grow together and learn how to react to the challenges and the joys.”
This story originally appeared on People.com.