Engaged Gwyneth Paltrow reveals why she's ready to give marriage 'a go again' after divorce

The 45-year-old and Brad Falchuk are tying the knot, Paltrow officially confirms in the cover story for Goop Magazine‘s Sex & Love issue while opening up about finding love again after her split from husband Chris Martin in 2014.

“Personally, at midlife, I have tried to accept how complex romantic love can be,” Paltrow reveals of getting married for a second time. “I have decided to give it a go again, not only because I believe I have found the man I was meant to be with, but because I have accepted the soul-stretching, pattern-breaking opportunities that (terrifyingly) are made possible by intimacy.”

The couple first went public with their romance back in April 2015 at Robert Downey Jr.’s 50th birthday bash. Before that, they had been linked for over a year, but flew under the radar with their relationship.

Paltrow says her past relationships have certainly informed her new ones, and opens up about divorcing Martin after 10 years of marriage in the special issue. “I’m actually the only one in my life who got divorced. This used to feel like a failure; it took me a while to reframe that divorce isn’t a failure,” she admits.

In fact, the star explains that before Falchuk, “I had two typical types of relationships.”

“One where I was constantly chasing and trying to win someone over, and one where I was put off by the person’s capacity for the relationship — and those relationships were very short-lived,” she says.

Now, “For the first time, I feel like I’m in an adult relationship that is sometimes very uncomfortable — because he sort of demands a certain level of intimacy and communication that I haven’t been held to before,” Paltrow says of her fiancé, also 46.

Adds the Goop founder, “What came up in the first couple of years of our relationship was how incapable I was in this realm—how I feared intimacy and communication.”

Paltrow shares daughter Apple, 13, and son Moses, 11, with Martin, 40.

Falchuk, 46, has two children, Brody and Isabella, from his 10-year marriage to Suzanne Bukinik, which ended in a divorce filing in March 2013.

Goop magazine will be available on newsstands on Jan. 9 and is also sold on goop.com

This article originally appeared on PEOPLE.