Just as the head of the college is lauding their proud 127-year-old heritage, we are interrupted by the electronic beep of a fully charged virtual baby. It seems that nannying has certainly moved with the times. England’s oldest and most prestigious nanny college is full of contradictions.
Set in the beautiful English city of Bath, all stone terraces, marble thresholds and haunted windows, Norland sits on the high side of the street, towering over its neighbours. I walk through the creaky iron gates and up the gravel drive … it’s grand and imposing, especially when the grey storm clouds roll through and the rain pours down. I’m expecting a crack of thunder and a wizard.
But inside are thoroughly modern young women, and one young man, learning the old-fashioned skills required to care for a future king’s baby. They learn to cook and sew, but also martial arts and defensive manoeuvres with a pram. They can manoeuvre a sewing machine with as much dexterity as the family 4WD. These are the requirements of the modern day nanny. It’s a complex CV, because the people who employ them are usually very rich, very famous or both. As the principal tells me, they want Mary Poppins and James Bond in one. I watch a sewing class where the students are making a cushion cover that doubles as a learning tool.
There are intricate teddy bear finger puppets poking out of pockets. Another is adorned with magnetic hand sewn spaceships that attach to planets. No wonky needlework here. The smell of cooking draws me into the kitchen. Curries, fish cakes, risotto … gourmet restaurant-quality meals. I am reassured, however, they too learn to hide the vegetables.
It feels rather quaint and old-fashioned. The senior female students wear brown uniforms, thick brown tights and sensible lace-up shoes. Their aprons hang on hooks in the hallway. Hair is neatly secured in a tight bun and they pull on heavy brown woollen coats, hats and gloves when they step outside. I have no doubt they can fly with an umbrella.
They learn to cook nutritious, vegan, allergy-free, culturally sensitive, child-friendly meals, but they’re also taught defensive driving. You never know when you’ll have to put your foot down in the boss’ Porsche – and outrun the paps – safely, of course, with precious cargo in the back.
Military Intelligence officers teach personal and cybersecurity.
There are classes in early brain development and mental health, and how to throw the perfect teddy bears’ picnic. They learn how to settle a crying baby, practised on microchipped lifelike dolls, controlled from the teacher’s computer. The dolls look and feel almost like a real baby … but these ones have an off button. No wonder it takes four years to fully qualify.
They learn to cook nutritious, vegan, allergy-free, culturally sensitive, child-friendly meals, but they’re also taught defensive driving. You never know when you’ll have to put your foot down in the boss’ Porsche – and outrun the paps – safely, of course, with precious cargo in the back.
To read the rest of the article, head to this week’s WHO magazine
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