Deep down inside of us (or in my case, right near the surface), we’re all slaves to a good sale and ALDI does them better than anyone. There’s a reason I have a room full of batteries and toilet paper in my house, it’s because they were on sale at ALDI and I couldn’t help myself.
Next Saturday, 19th May is a big day. Sure, it’s the royal wedding, but it’s also ALDI’s annual Snow Gear sale. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have a cut-price puffy jacket than watch Harry and Meghan tie the knot.
The only problem is this sale brings out the absolute worst in people. Last year I proudly pushed two kids over in order to get the last pair of goggles. Needless to say, this sale isn’t for the for the faint of heart and while there’s an avalanche of savings to be had (excuse the pun, pals), you need to know what you’re in for.
Read on for some top tip on how to survive ALDI’s biggest sale.
WORK IN TEAMS: The cutthroat nature of the sale means it’s best to have safety in numbers. Lots of parents drag their kids along, but I’ve found that taking children is actually a rookie move, because they have tiny legs and they complain about their arms getting sore.
Instead, round up your best friends and pretend you’re going to shout them brunch. Once you’re at the sale, split into groups and grab anything you can get your hands on.
WEAR YOUR PURCHASES: There’s a famous saying amongst bargain hunters - shop smarter, not harder. As you make your way through the sale, start wearing your purchases in order to maximise what you can carry. Layer those jackets, strap on the boots and put that helmet on your head. The last one is an added bonus when you inevitably get into an ALDI-related scrap in aisle 4.
TAKE SNACKS: You might be surrounded by delicious food in ALDI but you won’t have time to stop and snack once the reckoning begins. I’d recommend carbo-loading with a pasta before it begins, then stuff your pockets with high protein snacks - chicken breast, nuts or bananas. A drop in your energy levels could be the difference between you landing that lightweight thermal long sleeve shirt.
LEAVE YOUR DIGNITY AT THE DOOR: Last but not least, embrace your inner animal. I’m not saying you should do anything illegal, but don’t be afraid to get down and dirty. An ALDI sale is not the time to worry about public perception.
Months from now, when you’re on the slopes in your ridiculously cheap snow gear, no one will remember that you trampled on a pensioner to purchase it.