“To be perfectly honest, I don’t remember much after hearing those words,” she explained in an excerpt from her new book, Tea & Honesty, published in the Sydney Morning Herald's Sunday Life magazine over the weekend. “I must have asked questions that my dad answered very calmly and soberly.”
“I don’t remember what I was wearing or the name of the hotel we were staying at. I don’t remember what day it was or what I ate for breakfast that morning. I don’t remember how I ended up standing in the bathroom staring out of the tiny window at the cloudy-blue sky above.”
“But at the end of the conversation, I knew that he had died that day in Australia and, more confusingly, that he had taken his own life. Taken his own life. Those were the words that tangled and tore me open the most. He had decided for himself that his life was over.”
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When Jules told Guy, he slid down the wall and sunk to the floor, his head buried into his hands. In complete and understandably utter shock, Jules and Guy decided to end their honeymoon earlier than expected, promising her father “we would get home as fast as we could.”
When they returned, the pair were met by fans with smiles and congratulations on their happy new future together, but internally were torn with grief and shock.
“To this day, that would have to be one of the most surreal moments of my life,” she confessed. “The feeling of the world moving on, like nothing tragic had happened.”
“People were just getting on with their lives, not understanding that we were back home to bury my childhood best friend - my big brother, Andrew.”
Jules and Guy went on to start their own precious family and are now the proud parents to sons Hudson, nine, and Archie, six. In May this year they will mark 13 years since they tied the knot and lost Jules' brother Andrew.
If you or someone you know is struggling and needs to talk, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you feel that your life is in danger, call 000.