"I had no expectations that anyone would give a sh*t about me by myself. I had no plan in place. I didn’t think about anything.”
The reality TV star— who was married to Caitlyn Jenner's son Brody— also said being hit with the false accusation she was "partying with a mystery man two weeks after her breakup" was a tough pill to swallow.
"I just didn’t anticipate anything like this happening," she continued. "I’m used to it when I’m, like, with Brody or when I was with her, but never when I’m on my own. My mind is just swirling. I was just so mortified. The narrative was so not what the actual situation was and that was such a wake-up call for me."
Kaitlynn continued: "I had never thought about what my narrative even was or what it was going to be. I had always gone with the flow. I have always taken a back seat and trusted the person I’m with to run the show, especially publicly because it’s never really been something that I wanted. I never really wanted to put myself out there that way."
Although she's remained coy about her whirlwind romance with Miley, 27, Kailtynn opened up about falling in love with the pop sensation in November 2019, penning a deeply personal essay for Elle.com
“This past July, I went on vacation with a female friend; the next thing I knew, I was in love with her,” she wrote.
“Until that trip, it had never crossed my mind that I was even capable of loving a woman the way I loved her. As my friend and I spent that August traveling through Europe together and trying to move past our respective breakups, my first and only romance with a woman was born. It just happened and it felt exactly right,” Kaitlynn continued.
“Reflecting back on our three-year friendship, I realized I’d always been drawn to her in a way I wasn’t with other friends, but until that trip, it had never crossed my mind to think of her in a romantic sense."
Despite only dating for six weeks, Kaitlynn said Miley— who called time on their relationship becasue it was moving too fast— helped her discover critical parts of her identity she had subconsciously suppressed.
"While it was short-lived, I’ll remain eternally grateful to my most recent relationship for opening my eyes to this unexplored part of myself, and for inspiring a new level of self-discovery and wonder at all the possibilities of life. I’ve been forced to get to know myself in a far deeper way than ever before, and not just in terms of my sexual preferences. I’ve also been forced to reckon with who I am as a person."
She concluded: “Although the relationship with my friend was often referenced in the media as merely a ‘summer fling’ or a ‘same-sex affair,’ it was so much more than that. This was a profound journey of self-discovery. For the first time, I listened to myself, forgot about the ‘norm,’ and lived. Remain curious. Know that there are many layers within you—and they just might be the most invaluable ones.”