Surrogacy has been a tricky subject for Kim Kardashian West.
On Thursday’s episode of The Real, the 37-year-old reality star and third-time mum-to-be opened up about her recent cherry-blossom-filled baby shower, including why her surrogate wasn’t in attendance.
“I did not,” Kardashian West explained when Loni Love asked if she’d invited her surrogate to the shower. “I introduced her to my family earlier that day, and I just thought … I don’t know, it was a weird decision to have to make.”
She clarified of her own desires, “Of course I would have wanted her to be there, and be a part of it, but I hadn’t really gone that far in explaining it to my kids yet.”
Kardashian West recently admitted that even though doctors had advised her that she wouldn’t be able to carry any more children (the star suffered from placenta accreta during both of her pregnancies), she wasn’t the biggest fan of surrogacy due to emotional reasons.
“Anyone that says or thinks it is just the easy way out is just completely wrong. I think it is so much harder to go through it this way, because you are not really in control,” she told Entertainment Tonight.
“Obviously you pick someone that you completely trust and that you have a good bond and relationship with, but it is still … knowing that I was able to carry my first two babies and not my baby now, it’s hard for me,” she confessed. “It’s definitely a harder experience than I anticipated just in the control area.”
This article originally appeared on PEOPLE.