For weeks, my Facebook newsfeed has been blowing up with headlines like, "Netflix's new horror 'Bird Box' is the scariest film ever," or "Why Netflix's 'Bird Box' is terrifying audiences."
See the trailer for the movie below!
I get it, the post-apocalyptic thriller is a great success and everyone can't stop raving about it. I'm not blind to the fact that it was watched by over 45 million accounts in the first seven days following its release.
More than anyone, I understand that the movie has been a huge triumph for Netflix. Trust me, I've written my fair share of articles about it.
But it's nearly been a month since it was released. Can we please, for the love of god, stop talking about it?
Or, at least stop labelling it a horror movie. Because I hate to break it to you— or spoil it if you haven't seen it, which at this point seems bloody unlikely—'Bird Box' isn't scary.
Don't get mad just yet, let me explain why.
It's missing one essential component: the MONSTERS! The horrifying faces that keep you up at night. The frightful figures that force you to sleep with your light on. The sinister forces that literally make you cover your eyes. Without a creep or a serial killer, or even a good old fashioned ghost, you can't call it scary.
Sure, the movie's unseen faces which force most of the cast to kill themselves is super disturbing, but I wouldn't say it's horrifying. And, I'm not going to lie, there are parts that are borderline funny.
I'm not the only one who has had a good chuckle at this movie. I watched it twice, the first time with my boyfriend, and the second time alone.
We were in hysterics the whole way through it, mainly because of the odd casting choices.
For example.. um...MACHINE. GUN. KELLY.
Yeah, you know, that random tattoed guy who tried to take on a rap battle with the king of diss tracks. Aka Eminem.
Was his being in the movie a joke we're all missing? Or a jab at Eminem? Or maybe, after Slim dessimated his career in four short minutes, he decided to give acting a go.
All I know is that it was random and hilarious!
Anyway, there's a lot more I have to say on the topic, but it's Friday, and I want to end the week on a good note.
Ladies and gents, if you enjoyed 'Bird Box' I'm really happy for you. If not, come join me while I laugh at all the memes it has produced.
P.S. I still love you Sandy Bullock, even if Twitter thinks you're "that lady from 'Bird Box' that looks like Michael Jackson."