Unlocking your pleasure: A beginners guide to sex toys for women

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Venturing into the realm of sex toys might feel intimidating, and it’s perfectly okay to find yourself in a swirl of questions. The arena of sexual wellness is often clouded by misconceptions and an unnecessary sense of taboo – and quite frankly, we’ve had enough.

Shame no more! We’ve taken matters into our own hands and chatted with an expert, Lovehoney’s very own Christine Rafe, to get the lowdown on getting down. Brace yourself for an uncensored conversation that tackles all those tantalizing queries you sneakily Google before erasing your search history.

WATCH: Sex Education: Season 4 | Official Teaser | Netflix

How to begin using sex toys

If you’re new to sex toys it’s helpful to start with something simple like a bullet vibrator or wand. 

“Your journey in selecting the right toy is akin to an exploration of your desires and preferences. Consider if the toy will complement your regular activities seamlessly,” says Christine. 

Start slow and consider what you want to get out of experimenting with sex toys. Using lubrication is also super helpful. 

Lube is incredibly important, not only because it increases pleasure and reduces friction but it also can help extend the life of your toys. Always prioritise your body by using specially formulated sex lubricant for your erotic escapades.” 

Dispelling some of the myths surrounding sex toys

When it comes to sex toys, unfortunately, there still remains a bunch of misconceptions regarding sexual wellness and using adult toys in the bedroom. 

Myth #1 – Sex toys are for single people 

While yes single people can enjoy and have fun with sex toys, just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you have to retire your good friend the vibrator. In fact, introducing a sex toy to your next date night with your partner can help spice things up a little. 

Myth #2 – People can become dependent on sex toys

According to Christine, “while it’s possible to become accustomed to the stimulation of a vibrator, developing a long-term change in sensitivity is unlikely.” 

Myth #3 – Using sex toys is bad for you

A healthy and enjoyable sex life actually has a range of benefits for our overall health and well-being. 

Sexual wellness can benefit things from emotional regulation to pain relief, cardiovascular health and better sleep quality. 

sex toys women
Fair enough Charlotte… Sex And The City (HBO)

How to introduce toys to your partner

Bringing up sex toys to a new partner, or perhaps one you haven’t tried them out with can be a nerve-wracking experience – but it doesn’t have to be. 

Christine suggests, “[setting] aside time outside of sex for a conversation about bringing toys into your play, especially if you’re unsure [of] their stance towards using toys. This leads the way to an open discussion around the topic, so choose a time when your partner/s is feeling relaxed and has the time.” 

“Keep in mind that reassurance is key. Let your partner know that introducing toys doesn’t mean they’re being replaced – you’re simply expanding your pleasure palette.” 

There’s also a bunch of toys on the market that are great for those with penises, so they can experiment with new sensations for themselves! 

“Lastly, remember to be patient and gentle. If your partner seems hesitant, respect their feelings and take it at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you. This is a journey you’re embarking on together, so be ready to explore and adapt along the way.” 

Keeping your toys clean and safe 

It’s extremely important to consider safety and hygiene when it comes to adult toys. When purchasing a sex toy ensure that you’re buying body-safe, medical-grade materials that are non-porous, as they are less likely to hold harmful bacteria. 

“As vibrators are used in and around our intimate areas, cleaning them is so important for hygiene purposes but also for [the] care and maintenance of the device, helping prolong the life of your sex toys”, adds Christine. 

Most toys can be washed with mild soap and warm water, or you can purchase sex toy cleaners that are designed especially for the task. Just ensure to check the ingredients as that will ultimately end up in your body. 

“It’s important to check what materials your toy is made from as this will differ slightly depending on your vibrator – care instructions are commonly found within the product’s packaging,” advises Christine. 

The best sex toys for women to buy in 2023 

Want to try out some toys for yourself? Below are some of our top picks across a range of different types, categories and styles. 

sex toys for women
(Credit: Frenchie)

L’Amour D’Abord vibe bundle, $160, Frenchie

Start your journey off strong with two of Frenchie’s best-selling vibrators, The Petit Eiffel and Double Entendre. This little pack will give you all of the tools to start with the basics and work your way up. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Lovehoney)

Lovehoney Rose clitoral suction stimulator, $89.95, Lovehoney

This best-selling suction vibrator from Lovehoney is great for beginners. Made from a ultra soft body safe silicone, it has 10 suction modes to test and try out and is even waterproof to take in the bath or shower with you. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Vush)

VUSH Muse rabbit vibrator, $135, a-beauty

A rabbit vibrator is always a good toy to try out. Not only does it provide clitoral stimulation but it can be used internally at the same time for dual-action pleasure. It has eight patterns and five different levels of intensities to suit your flow and is even great for adding to your next date night. 


sex toys women
(Credit: VUSH)

VUSH Ella & Dom twist vibrator, $140, Sephora

Feeling a bit more daring? Try out this outrageously shaped vibrator from VUSH that was made in collaboration with MAF’s Ella and Dom. This can be used internally or externally and even has a gyrating tip to hit the spot. 


sex toys women
(Credit: Lovehoney)

Lovehoney Satisfy Me G-Spot silicone dildo, $36.95, Lovehoney

If you prefer penetrative pleasure, a simple dildo like this one from Lovehoney can get exactly where you need it to go. The curved shape can help provide firmer g-spot stimulation and has two ends to choose from. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Lelo)

Soraya Wave rabbit vibrator, $272.65 (usually $359), Lelo

If you love the idea of a rabbit vibrator and are looking for something on the luxury, bougie end – this indulgent wand from Lelo is a top pick. It can reach your G-spot whilst providing clitoral stimulation in a range of patterns and intensities. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Dame)

Dame Com wand vibrator, $156, Sephora

If comfort is paramount to pleasure then the Dame Com wand is your pick. Its ergonomic shape fits to your body and provides external pleasure in the easiest and most accessible way possible – it can even act as a personal massager if you have a knot in need of some attention. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Wild Secrets)

Wild Secrets Tease wearable vibrator, $139.99, Wild Secrets

Love the idea of doing something a bit out of the box? This wearable vibrator offers a discreet pleasure that allows you to wear it under your clothes for some bold fun. Hand over the control to your partner and revel in the knowledge only you share. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Womanizer)

Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen, $123 (usually $165), Current Body

Made in collaboration with our brit-pop queen Lily Allen, this handy little tool is perfect for on the go pleasure thanks to its small size and discreet design. Enjoy clitoral stimulation with six intensities to choose from, this is great for anyone wanting some simple yet wildly effective. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Le Wand)

Le Wand rechargeable massager, $299, THE ICONIC

It doesn’t get more classic than a wand vibrator. Popularised by miss Samantha Jones during Sex And The City, these were designed as personal massagers but their alternate uses are for more exciting if you ask us. It has 20 – yes 20 – vibration patterns at 10 different speeds and can be used for up to three hours. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: Smile Makers)

Smile Makers The Tennis Pro, $74.95, THE ICONIC

Made to hit you G-spot in just the right place, the rounded and angled head on this toy from Smile Makers will be a game-changer if you’re exploring internal sex toys. Soft rumbly vibrations don’t overwhelm the sensitive area and will leave you smiling as the brand implies. 


sex toys for women
(Credit: My Ilo)

Pleasure plug, $85, My Ilo

So you’ve tried vaginal pleasure and are wanting to explore something more? This plug from My Ilo is a great place to start and can even vibrate for added pleasure. 


Looking for more specific breakdowns of the best toys? Check out some of our guides below: 

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