I know you copped it pretty hard over your hair extensions and the fact they were, well, horrible.
They didn't match your hair colour. You could see where they began and also where they ended. They were limp. They were ragged. They were nasty.
And we were delighted when we heard you were having them removed and some brand spanking new versions were going to replace them. Honestly - I think we even opened a bottle or two of champagne over at my place to mark the occasion.
Although that may have just been an excuse for a mid-week bender ... Still, we're critiquing your life today! Not mine. So, where were we. Oh that's right. New hair extensions.
Like I said, we heard this news and we were delighted.
But then we saw the new versions ... And um ... Lizzie - they're not so great.
I know, I know, they're better than what you had before. But, and I don't mean to be cruel when I say this, that's not saying all that much.
I don't know where you got them nor who applied them for you. And it's no reflection on that stylist either.
I've seen you on TV Lizzie and you have a very determined way about you - which I admire - but my feeling is you dictated exactly what type of extensions you wanted, where they ought to be applied, how long they should be and indeed, what hue.
And, I think you made a mistake. A few actually!
So I'm going to put it out there and ask you a favour. GET THEM DONE AGAIN.
Only this time, let a respected, experienced hair extension pro work his or her magic and do not get involved. At least just once.
Try also to use real hair. Ensure it's sourced from an ethical company too. They exist! Promise. And the hair they use for their extensions is glorious. Lizzie - you will not know yourself! I promise you.
Yes, it's a little expensive but damn it - it is so worth the spend.
If you don't know where to start or who to see call me! I will personally take you to a salon where you will get five-star treatment and, more importantly, five-star extensions. And then, we can stop focusing on your (sorry!) hideous hair and start admiring your beautiful face.
Those sweet, innocent eyes of yours, that darling full pout and your gorgeous chiselled cheekbones. Darling - you have got it all going on. Let's get you the hair to match! It's nothing less than you deserve.