Michelle Williams is opening up about raising 11-year-old daughter, Matilda Rose, without her daughter’s father, Heath Ledger.
The Manchester By the Sea star is on the cover of the latest issue of Porter, out Friday, and she reflects on parenting and dating since the loss of Ledger, nearly seven years ago.
“In all honesty, for pretty much everything else, I feel like I’m a believer in not fighting circumstances, accepting where you are and where you’ve been. In pretty much all senses but one, I would be able to go totally down that line of thinking were it not for Matilda not having her dad,” Williams, 36, said. “You know, that’s just something that doesn’t… I mean, it just won’t ever be right.”
Williams — who began dating her Brokeback Mountain costar in 2004 after meeting on set of their film — had amicably split from Ledger in September 2007, after three years together. He was found dead in January 2008 due to an accidental mixture of prescription drugs. He was 28.
The actress told Porter that while she never expected to be a single parent at her age, she’s not planning on getting married anytime soon.”Talk about a learning process,” she said of dating. “I think, God, what would I say about it? I feel really sensitive about it and certainly did not expect to still be dating at 36 with an 11-year-old. This is not what I imagine.”
“I’m like a cat, I’m a very domestic creature,” she said. “I just want to stay home and take care of people. But I’m also happy with myself and just because I might have a desire to be with someone… that won’t lead me to marry the wrong person.”
If her best friend Busy Philipps is right, Williams may have to wait a little longer to find that special someone anyway.
“My friend Busy and her husband Marc [Silverstein] said, ‘Michelle, you’re in like a blackout zone, everybody is now partnered up and you have to wait for people to start getting divorced,’ ” Williams said.
The thought frustrated Williams.
“Oh my f—ing God. Are you kidding me? I’m just sitting around and waiting for marriages to crumble?” she said. “Oh wow! No!”
The article originally appeared on PEOPLE.COM.