Content warning: This article discusses suicide and mental health issues.
As the Big Brother VIP contestants spend every waking hour together in the Big Brother Hotel, they’re bound to spend time delving into some pretty deep conversations.
Tonight, the big emotional heart-to-heart came when model and influencer Josh Carroll opened up about his mental health and the loss of his dad.
Working out alongside fellow contestant Danny Hayes, Josh began to open up about his mental health struggles after speaking about his work as a model and social media influencer.
“Do you know what’s funny when you meet someone? I looked at your Instagram and thought, oh yeah he’s a…” Danny started to say, with Josh finishing off the sentence to say “wanker.”
“Yeah, another Instagram wanker, but you’re anything but that,” Danny continued.
Regardless of the somewhat backwards compliment, Josh thanked Danny and told him his mission in joining the BBVIP cast was to show there’s more to him than what people think.
The conversation continued on with Josh revealing he avoids the huge events associated with his work, due to anxiety.
“I’m never at events, I’m never mingling with the Sydney scene. It makes me want to go insane, I just don’t even go anymore. I get panicked easily in crowds, I’ve got crazy social anxiety,” he revealed.
“Yeah, I’m extremely pleased that I was able to come on this show, push myself to mingle with a bunch of – for lack of a better word – randoms, for 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Never would think in a million years I would do something like that,” Josh admitted.
Later, talking to Ellie Gonsalves at the dinner table, Josh said “once you get to know everyone, everyone’s gone through some s–t.”
In the previous episodes, Ellie had spoken about when her father took his own life a few years ago. As the pair spoke further about the loss of Ellie’s dad, Josh revealed he had also lost his father at the same age of 25.
The star opened up about his dad, who was the “first person” to encourage him to become a model. The encouragement meant the world to Josh, who has previously spoken about feeling like an “ugly duckling” growing up.
“My dad was depressed, sad and had a bad back. He started taking valium for the pain for his back,” Josh said, before reliving the moment his mum woke him up to tell him about his dad.
“My mum gets up early – she’s a PT – and she wakes me up at like 5am. She’s like ‘Josh, Josh!’ and she was crying hysterically and she was like ‘your dad’s dead.’ And I touched him, ice cold, and it was just….” Josh trailed off.
“And that’s where my anxiety comes from, just from that moment. It triggered it.”
In the diary room, he revealed he hadn’t cried in the last four years since his dad passed away. Breaking down in tears as he spoke, Josh said he was hoping to make his father proud.
“I’m here for my dad, who loved the show. I just wanted to make him proud and prove to everyone else out there who may be struggling with mental health that they can get after it as well – it’s not as debilitating as you may think.”
If Josh were to win Big Brother VIP, the $100,000 prize money would be going to his chosen charity, Keith’s Closet. They provides free, clean clothes and toiletries to patients at the mental health facility at Sydney’s Prince of Wales Hospital.
If you or someone you know has been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, help is always available. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit their website.
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