Oliver Hudson has a bone to pick with Brad Pitt.
The Rules of Engagement actor took to Instagram on Friday to jokingly unleash a massive list of fake grievances he has against Pitt. The motivation for the hilarious rant was the cover of a tabloid that claimed — with zero evidence — that his sister, actress Kate Hudson, is dating the Ocean’s Eleven star.
“He drinks out of the f— carton and he leaves the door open when he’s taking a dump!!” the 40-year-old actor jokingly vented. “And this is when he’s at MY house!!! He’s already calling me brother and has driven a wedge between myself and my real brother Wyatt who now won’t speak to me.”
Oliver went on to write even his mother, Overboard star Goldie Hawn, was “overtly flirting with him,” going around “wearing these little nighties around the house.”
“And Pa just keeps saying ‘All right!! It’s Brad Pitt!!'” the actor continued, adding “Anyway not going well.. so BP.. it’s time to move out man.. I need my life back dog.. I’ll smoke one more bowl and then get the f— out.”
The joke was lighthearted and seems to come at a time when Pitt is slowly but steadily making more public appearances. Pitt recently stepped out at a Malibu-held charity event, where he seemed in good spirits as he took photos with fans.
Pitt was seen shaking hands and making people laugh at the event, whose other famous guests included Charlie Hunnam, Rami Malek, Garrett Hedlund, Kaley Cuoco, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Scott Foley and David Spade.
Earlier this month, Pitt made a surprise appearance at the Golden Globes where he presented the film Moonlight, which his company produced. The critically acclaimed film won the Globe for best drama.
One day later, he and his ex Angelina Jolie released a joint statement stating that they have reached an agreement to handle their divorce privately and keep details confidential.
According to the statement obtained by PEOPLE, “The parties and their counsel have signed agreements to preserve the privacy rights of their children and family by keeping all court documents confidential and engaging a private judge to make any necessary legal decisions and to facilitate the expeditious resolution of any remaining issues. The parents are committed to act as a united front to effectuate recovery and reunification.”
This article originally appeared on PEOPLE.com
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