Producers were TOTALLY behind the ridiculous shenanigans that played out tonight on Bachelor In Paradise. And, maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t think Eden is the bad guy he’s being made out to be…
Bachelor has gone full UnREAL. And while I’d usually be all for the show drawing from the playbook of one of the best dramas on TV - I’m sorry, but I’m just not buying what played out during the explosive episode.
I was expecting fireworks after seeing those promos. They appeared to show someone storming out of the ceremony, Keira in tears, and a cameraman frantically trying to capture all the action.
But instead of being a fine example of high drama, it felt like a fine example of high comedy - I couldn’t stop laughing.
And, for me at least, it all felt super, mega manufactured. Eden all of a sudden becoming this machiavellian sex-obsessed puppet master? Yeah - I’m not buying it.
Is it just me, or is it totally easy to imagine a group of bored producers the night before, sitting around their dorm rooms (in my head it’s TOTALLY not tropical and luxurious for them - they’re all bunking in together on bunk beds, rationing their Fiji Water, and having cold showers in the morning), saying, ‘How can we make this more interesting?’
Then they’d all be, like, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun if we made Michael pick Lisa, and make Luke think Lisa doesn’t love him?
‘And while we’re at it, let’s plant the seed in Jarrod’s head that that new hot blonde chick from England is the best thing ever - that’ll make Keira cry, and that’s gold.
‘Oh, yeah, then we’ll be like, ‘Michael totally broke the Bro Code’ to all the others, and they’ll turn on him and everything will finally be interesting.
‘And Lisa will feel like poo for accepting the rose.
‘Yeah, let’s totally do that.’
Yeah, but can you totally NOT do that?
And if you do do that, can you at least make it seem believable? And have the ‘story arc’ play out over several drama-filled days, instead of rushing everything through so it’s over in time for Law and Order? Ugh.
I, for one, was seeing straight through all of this tomfoolery. Everything about the episode felt fake to me. Anyone could see that Luke and Lisa had a thing. Anyone could see that Eden and Nina also had something good going on. And yeah, it’s a bit weird that Edes hasn’t even touched boob yet, but heck, as Neens points out, it’s only been ten days, and can everyone just COOL THEIR JETS.
What transpired, by Eden choosing to give that first rose to Elora, was one almighty clusterf*ck. Which, actually, rather than having me sit on the couch gasping with outrage, had me choking on a chocolate-covered rice wheel trying not to laugh (Side note: have you tried them? They’re delicious. Totally worth stealing from your kid’s lunch snacks rations).
It just all felt so patently ridiculous.
Yep - much as I love me some manufactured drama ala Quinn and Rachel and Everlasting, when it comes to my little Aussie Bach charges (which, against my better judgement, I’ve become quite attached to), I want my drama to ring a little truer.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I just don’t think Eden’s the type of guy who “if you don’t put out, he’s sending you home,” as Nina - probably, rightfully - thinks at this point.
I should be mad at Eden for choosing sexy Elora over good girl Nina. I should be mad that this whole thing happened because he wanted to get his rocks off - and she wasn’t obliging.
But instead - I just feel played.
And I reckon Nina, Eden, Michael and Jarrod do too.
Lift ya game, producers. And take a note from Quin...