All that cute snuggling in the Love Hut was almost enough to make me forget that huge, massive, bloody gob-smacking bombshell at the end of last night’s episode.
Yep - I don’t want to. I’d much rather sit under that stick hut with Sam and Tara, and talk about how cute they are - and how cute they’ll still be in fifty years time when they’re old, and Croatian, and fat, and still living happily together in Bondi.
But I feel we have to address the elephant in the room.
And that elephant is - Simone and Elora. And - wait for it...wait for it - COURTNEY FREAKING DOBER.
Um, excuse me, but did Elora REALLY just say on camera that Simone had sex with Courtney on her couch?
I wasn’t sure, so I had to go back and watch it again. And yep - there it is. Confirmation that their beef is over some random called Courtney.
Yeah, yeah, I know Bach Tragics. I know you ALL know who Courtney is. But - and don’t judge me - I had to get on the Internets and find out.
Because, much to my shame (actually, no, I totally stand by my decision not to watch it, because it was boring, and I had zero interest in seeing her get a happily ever after), I didn’t watch Georgia Love’s series of The Bachelorette.
So who is this ‘Courtney’? Is it a girl? Is it a boy? Were they even on the show?
A quick google search produced my answer - Courtney Dober, who, the Internets reliably informs me, is an industrial designer from Melbourne, who almost stole Georgia Love’s heart.
But here's the thing - I still don't know if it actually IS him? So if it's not - sorry Courtney, I didn't mean that your name be dragged into all this.
But if it is, can I just say one thing about this. And honestly, that’s all I’ll say. Because, really and truly, watching two women beef about who has more of a connection with a guy who they have LITERALLY both met the day before, is, frankly, vomit-inducing.
But it needs to be said - Elora, that was really, freaking uncool.
It was super mean to bring Simone’s past rendezvous up. In front of a producer. While the cameras were rolling. On national TV. And name NAMES!
We’ve all done stuff we’re not proud of after a few Aperol Spritzers. And I, for one, feel that sort of juicy goss needs to be left alone - or at least shelved until Courtney walks through that shabby-chic archway (is he coming? Oh, please say he’s coming!).
Sim, honey - I totally won’t blame you if you walk off Love Island. Or get Keira to chuck a mango daiquiri slushy in Elora’s face.
Cause that was just plain mean.
