Is it normal?
The good news is, yes, post wedding blues are completely normal. Approximately 1 in 10 women experience some form of depression in the first year of marriage.
One of the more common triggers is boredom. But that's not the full story.
A study reported in Psychology Today found the difference between newlyweds who were bored and felt the blues after the wedding versus those who were bored but didn't feel depressed was put down to the way they viewed their big day.
The ones who saw their wedding as the end goal felt sad and low, whereas the women who saw it as a starting point were bored but not depressed.
Probably because the reality of everyday life involves domestic chores. And let's face it, chats about honeymoons vs whose turn is it to take out the trash really don't compare.
What to do about post wedding blues
Fran Walfish, relationship psychologist says that depression of either the bride or groom spells trouble and should be dealt with asap. "If there’s depression in your marriage, it’s time to act," says Walfish.
A Norwegian study of over 20,000 participants showed that divorce was significantly higher when one partner was mentally distressed. But, it's lower than the combined effects of two mentally distressed partners.
So, what can you do to stop it from happening? Get therapy.
Pre and post-marriage counselling raises your chances of improvement by 80 per cent and could help you avoid divorce.
“Just 33 percent of people with depression seek and get help," Emily Scott Lowe, Professor of Social Work at Pepperdine University, California told thehealthy.com.
"But when you do, your chances for significant improvement are 80 to 90 percent. Almost everyone gets some relief.”
Be aware of the signs
Relationships NSW have a pre-marital counselling service called Prepare and Enrich.
"Prepare and Enrich are customised assessment programs for couples that can be completed online and offers valuable insights into your strengths and growth areas."
Advice from the Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors (AIPC), suggests that pre-marital therapy can help determine the health of a marriage, and potentially save you from post wedding depression.
In a pre-nuptial interview with a counsellor some of the signs they're looking for are; what sort of positive issues and negative issues are you bringing to the relationship and what sort of family of origin issues are you likely to bring?
They'll also observe how you interact as a couple; "What does your communication and body language tell us? When the couple is interviewed together, it is useful to watch for signs of one person simply going along with what the other one says."
Why? Because agreeability can be a sign of one partner not getting their needs met which can cause conflict later on and might even lead to depression after the wedding.
So, the best way to avoid post wedding blues?
The AIPC says that nothing will help more with negotiation of future difficulties, "than clear, heartfelt communication with each other."
And the sooner you get clear on that, the better.