How Do You Define Sologamy?
A sologamist is someone who married themselves. It’s commonly seen as a gesture of self-love and affirmation for oneself, a celebration of being secure in your own identity. There are a lot of reasons you’d want to do it: a bad breakup, a quest to be comfortable in your own skin, or just to celebrate a milestone in your life. At the end of the day, it’s the ultimate expression of asserting independence.
“I Married Myself”: The People Who’ve Done It
There are two popular instances of self-marriage that have been covered in recent years:
Laura Mesi, an Italian personal trainer, married herself in a lavish wedding in 2017. It was to affirm to herself that she didn’t need a partner in her life to make her happy. “You can have a fairytale even without the prince,” she quotes.
Grace Gelder had a more intimate but equally meaningful ceremony. The British photographer said that marrying herself was a way to formalise her personal development and as a statement against the usual societal expectations of marriage. “It dawned on me that a self-marriage ceremony witnessed by other people would potentially be this massively powerful means of making it stick,” she said.
Why Do People Practice Sologamy?
The prospect of self-marriage can be a bit confusing for some people. Critics say that it promotes unhealthy narcissism, but the people who’ve gone through the practice beg to disagree. There are plenty of reasons why marrying yourself can actually be a very psychologically healthy to do:
- It promotes self care and independence
- It affirms one’s inherent value
- It celebrates the independent spirit of each individual
If it could be narrowed down to just one thing, the defining characteristic of sologamy is caring for oneself, which is an increasingly difficult thing to achieve in the modern day.
Sex And Sexuality In A Self-Marriage
Of course, this practice does draw a lot of questions. Some people have concerns about how sexual needs are met in a self-marriage, but people who practice sologamy don’t really see it as a problem. Sophie Tanner (an outspoken sologamist) has said that being self-married doesn’t stop her from entering sexual relationships with other people.
Can I Marry Myself Legally In Australia?
Self-marriage is not recognised officially by the law, but you’re still allowed to do it! You can go through all the bells and whistles you’d go through with an actual wedding; everything from vows to the reception are all up to you. While the marriage won’t be binding (as there are no laws surrounding it) you can still look back on the day as an important milestone in your life.
Marriage To Yourself: Ceremony, Kits, And So On
If you don’t want to go through all the trouble of arranging a marriage, there are companies that can do it for you!
- I Married Me offers a DIY marriage kit that contains a ring, affirmation cards, and even ceremony instructions for you to use.
- A travel agency called Cerca Travel can get you married in the charming city of Kyoto.
- For a distinctly Australian touch to your ceremonial declaration of self-care, you can consult companies like Material Girlz Event Styling, who will happily arrange it all for you.
Can You Marry Yourself If You Are Ordained?
Absolutely. Since the laws regarding self-marriage are non-existent, you can be as official (or non-official) as you like! You can even have small indoor and intimate ceremony where you can tie the knot. Your marriage, your rules.
You May Now Kiss… Yourself
Sologamy is a wonderful expression of self-love and care that many people around the world are choosing to embrace. No matter why you choose to do it, the important thing is the ceremony was conducted to recognise that there is someone who will care about you when no one else will: yourself.
RELATED: Em Rusciano: How I fixed my marriage