What Is The Charge?
Paul Charles Dozsa was born in Szeged, Hungary in 1940 before moving to Australia, although Mr Dozsa’s own website claims he was also a military test subject for subtle energy fields. A chess master and chess champion who achieved a rating of 2230, he claimed that his training in subtle energy and mind control research enabled him to make his opponents make illogical, even losing moves.
Mr Dozsa was also known for his tendency to dine at five-star hotels and restaurants and then leave without paying, the old ‘dine and dash’. Perhaps it was his Hungarian-trained psychic powers that allowed him to walk out without squaring the bill, but soon his luck ran out.
In 1988, Mr Dozsa refused to pay a $48 bill at a Chinese restaurant at the five-star Sheraton-Wentworth hotel. As he was quietly led to the police car, he shouted in protest, “You assured me that I could speak!” As the police informed him that he was being arrested, he began to resist and his loud voice with its posh accent could not be silenced as he proclaimed, “Gentlemen… This is democracy manifest!” And thus, a star of countless internet memes and t-shirts was born.
Get Your Hands Off My Penis
As the beleaguered policemen and hotel staff attempted to take the man away quietly and without further incident, he began to describe the physical measures they were taking to restrain him. At one point, he protested loudly, “Get your hands off my penis!”
As they pushed him into the back seat, he asked, “What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?” As one officer applied a force to the restaurant runner, he complimented him, saying, “I see you know your judo well.” He then told another police officer waiting inside the car, “And you sir? Are you waiting to receive my limp penis?”
Paul Dosza was arrested and convicted for the 54th time by a Sydney judge, who claimed to be in a “state of inebriation.” But every time he was brought before the magistrate, Mr Dosza would impress them with his vast knowledge of fine food and wines, and show remorse for his actions, which would often lead to lighter sentences upon conviction, even avoiding prison time.
He explained that whenever he got caught not paying the bill, he would plead that he had fallen on hard times, or that he had forgotten his wallet or that a cheque had bounced. Many times the restaurant would simply let him go rather than have a major incident on their hands. They were also impressed by his impeccable manners and eloquence.
In 2009, the video purporting to be of Mr Dozsa’s arrest was uploaded onto YouTube under the title ‘Democracy Manifest’. It has since gained over 1.5 million views, although one wonders if it would have gotten even more views under the title ‘Get Your Hand Off My Penis’ instead.
This video has been remixed many times over the years. A popular remix pairs the posh voiceover from the arrest video with footage of Batman and Bane’s fistfight from The Dark Knight Rises. Another remix sets the words to some catchy music.
The Rumours Of My Demise
Sadly Paul Dozsa apparently died from brain tumours in 2003, so he never lived to see himself rise to Internet superstardom.
Years after his death was reported, many of the people who knew him refused to believe that he was dead. Those same people also say that Mr Dozsa had a thick Hungarian accent, and did not look at all like the person in the video!
To further add to the mystery, Brown Cardigan, Australia’s popular source for memes, recently posted a video of a grey-bearded man speaking the lines from the video with the exact voice and accent! Perhaps this was one final prank from the Hungarian smooth talker.