Catelynn Baltierra lived in fear that her husband Tyler Baltierra would want to divorce her when she revealed her need to return to rehab to deal with childhood trauma.
The Teen Mom OG star, 26, shared her feelings with Tyler on the season finale of the MTV reality series, telling him she needed to seek treatment again just days after she’d returned from rehab for suicidal thoughts.
“It’s super hard for me to tell you this thing, so keep an open mind,” Catelynn began. “I’ve started to have really bad anxiety in the mornings but I’ve been hiding it. I just feel like I’ve been letting people down for some reason. I feel guilty [by having anxiety]. Obviously, my meds aren’t working. I have to force myself to get in the shower and put makeup on.”
Tyler, who has also struggled with depression, expressed his self-doubt, telling Catelynn, “It’s gotta be something with me.”
“No! It has nothing to do with you Tyler. It’s my inner childhood s—,” Catelynn told him. “I’m telling you right now, it’s nothing to do with what you do. It’s me being a f—— 12-year-old and my dad leaving or me being 8 and my mom drinking all the time and not being there.”
“It’s my own s—, it’s just coming out with thing going on in life. It’s nothing to do with you, you’re awesome, you’re supportive,” she continued.
Catelynn added that she was certain she needed to seek treatment again as Tyler looked at her and struggled to keep a supportive front.
“I didn’t even want to tell you that I was going back,” Catelynn said. “I just thought, ‘I wouldn’t blame Tyler, like seriously, if you wanted to just divorce me.’ I put you through so much. You’re an awesome husband, seriously, to stand by me through all this s—. I’m sure a lot of guys would just throw in the f—— towel.”
Tyler hugged her and said, “I don’t think those guys are true husbands. I’m not ever leaving, I’m not going anywhere. Don’t think like that.”
Later, the father of two told his sister, Amber, that he felt as though “something was off” with Catelynn when she announced her desire to return to rehab.
“It was just unexpected what she told me. Like we’re there? We’re there. I thought we were at more like, ‘Hey, I need to do therapy three times a week instead of one,’ ” said Tyler.
Amber agreed with him, saying outpatient treatment would be the “normal thing to do.”
“You don’t just jump the gun and get on a plane and go to Arizona. You really [have to] try to do the outpatient [therapy],” she said.
“I just wasn’t expecting that. It’s kind of pissed me off a little bit only because there wasn’t like a process of, ‘Okay, let’s figure this out.’ I felt like she did not weigh any options,” Tyler said.
He added that his concern for their 3-year-old daughter Novalee Reign was a major reason why he was resisting the idea of Catelynn leaving again so soon.
“It’s more or less like, dude, our kid, our kid. Does that even cross in your head at all?” he said. “My opinion, as her father, is that outpatient [treatment] is what’s best for her and inpatient [treatment] is what’s best for you. And [Catelynn] looked at me and said she’ll manage.”
Amber asked if he felt that was a “selfish comment,” to which Tyler said he believed Catelynn was speaking “out of ignorance.”
“You think she’ll manage? What do you mean she’ll manage?” he said about his daughter Nova. “She’s f—— 3, she can’t manage nothing. It reminds me exactly of what dad said to us when we were kids.”
“I just think this whole miscarriage thing really f—– her head up,” Amber explained. “Maybe she’s just really intimidated and really scared that she can’t talk to you or open up.”
Tyler shook his head at Amber’s reasoning, and said, “Well, then maybe [Catelynn] should not be with me. Maybe I’m not the right guy for [her] is what I’m saying. This is legit, maybe I’m not good enough for [her].”
Catelynn sought treatment in November 2017 after she experienced suicidal thoughts. She tweeted, “Well today I thought of every way to kill myself.. so I’m going to treatment. #makeChesterProud @TalindaB #KeepTalkingMH #thiswontlast.”
In January, the reality star entered rehab for a third time to overcome childhood trauma.
“Well they say third times a charm… I’m going back to treatment people for 6 weeks to work on my trauma and getting on different meds. THANK YOU @TylerBaltierra I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! You are my light!! And nova you are my sunshine #KeepTalkingMH,” she tweeted.
This article originally appeared on PEOPLE