Tessa James has opened up about her battle with Hodgkin's lymphoma.
The former Home and Away star, 25, told The Daily Life she suffered a panic attack during her six-month-long chemotherapy treatment and wanted to die.
"I hit a point where I didn't know what I was doing, why I was here, what was happening, where my life was going,” she said. "I thought I knew. I was 23, and all this bad stuff was happening. I tried to spiritually find why."
James, who is married to NRL player Nate Myles, also spoke about the difficulty of coming to terms with her diagnosis at just 23, but says she found inner strength to continue fighting.
"I got through it because I had to get through it," she says. "What was the other option? To sit and feel sorry for myself? I think I had to hit that low point, to be in so much pain and so upset and so traumatised, to then have that sense of empowerment again: I can get through this."
Myles, 31, told the publication he felt helpless during his wife’s cancer battle and found it “frightening” watching her go through chemotherapy.
"The toughest part is watching them go downhill,” he said. “It hurts you, when they're hurting.”
James was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system, in September 2014 after discovering a lump in her collarbone. She is now in remission.
The actress, who finished up on Home and Away in 2011, will make her return to the small screen later this year in the movie Spin Out - her first big role since recovering from cancer.