It was meant to be a relaxing getaway from the drama that has followed her since she appeared on the controversial TV show Married At First Sight.
But Tracey Jewel’s infamous European holiday with ex-boyfriend Patrick Kedemos ended abruptly after the trip didn’t go to plan – and now the reality TV star reveals she’s been admitted to a mental health clinic after overdosing on sleeping pills while stranded in Berlin.
‘I went into a head spin,’ the tearful reality star tells New Idea in an exclusive interview. ‘I just didn’t see a way out of the current situation.’
‘I’ve been bullied and cyber-trolled relentlessly, pretty much all year,’ she explains, adding the online trolling became particularly bad when she was touring Australia with her book.
‘I’m not someone who has a history of depression, but I started getting help in April because the psychologist said I might have post-traumatic stress disorder because of everything I’d been through.’
There’s no doubt it’s been a challenging year for Tracey – who dumped cheating on-screen beau Dean Wells at the altar in the season finale of MAFS, only to move on quickly to fellow cast member Sean Thomsen.
That romance lasted six months – before she reconnected with old flame Patrick.
But that dalliance ended in disaster too – after the couple’s five-week European break saw their relationship crumble.
Tracey – who wants to share her story so people can understand – claims she was in a ‘head spin’ at the time.
‘I was completely crucified with allegations that were completely unfounded,’ the star, who has faced – and denied – claims she once worked as a stripper, adds.
So when Patrick, 45, suggested the pair embark on a European jaunt, she agreed.
‘He said, “you should come with me to get away from all of this”,’ Tracey explains. ‘Even though I couldn’t afford it, he said “don’t worry about it, you’re my partner. I’ll look after you”.’ Patrick thought the holiday would help her clear her head.
‘Once we were away, it became very evident that he thought I would just go back to my normal bubbly self,’ Tracey explains. ‘I’ve been very emotionally withdrawn because of the stress from the trolls and the bullying and he thought that would magically disappear.’
But that didn’t happen and Tracey claims Patrick became unreasonable.
‘I haven’t been my normal happy self and I thought he understood that and would be patient with me and supportive,’ the author and former marketing manager says.
‘He got very angry at me and upset at me. It was awful. He would go off and leave me on my own for half the day,’ Tracey went on. ‘He would say that I asked for this and that I deserved all this bullying [and] that I just need to snap out of it. He said that because I went on MAFS it’s my responsibility and I need to fix all this.’
Tracey also claims Patrick was ‘constantly yelling’ because he was ‘starting to get bullied’ for his partnership with her.
Patrick has strongly denied becoming aggressive.
‘I called the police to show them there was no anger... from my side,’ he has said previously.
After one week, Tracey says Patrick told her he’d made a mistake. ‘He wished he never brought me on the trip,’ she says.
Tracey asked to go home – and that’s when she was left ‘stranded and alone’ in Berlin without enough money to pay for a flight.
‘I went into a head spin and I overdosed on sleeping pills, because I didn't have a way out,’ the reality star reveals sadly, explaining at the time she felt overwhelmed.
'I wasn’t thinking clearly, it wasn’t my intention to kill myself. I just wanted to get out of the pain I was feeling.'
A doctor was called and Tracey thankfully recovered.
Patrick gave her money for a flight home and her adoptive mother picked her up from the airport. But the star’s mental health was so fragile she was admitted to a mental health clinic. ‘[My doctors] thought the best thing I could do was to have care to get better as quickly as possible,’ Tracey explains.
Tracey – who saw her own daughter for an hour when she returned – says she wasn’t ready to talk to her about what happened, but made plans to have an open discussion. ‘I want to be a really good role model for her and I don’t like lying to her,’ she says.
‘She doesn’t need to know all the ins and outs, because I don’t want to scare or upset her [but] I want her to know that it’s OK not to feel well – and when you’re not well you get help.’
If you or anyone you know is seeking help, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au/.
This article originally appeared on New Idea.