The gender-fluid actor, 29, revealed on Instagram that they have long battled with body dysmorphia, to the point where they were over-exercising, dieting and taking supplements to lose weight. Tortorella said that these obsessions track with their past addiction to alcohol.
“My weight has fluctuated my entire life,” they wrote. “For the past couple years, I started to really get into shape. Working out sometimes twice a day, diets, supplements, hormones, etc. Remember, I am an addict.”
But recently, Tortorella said, they’ve started to make progress.
“Over the past 6 months I have worked out less, ate more, wrote a book and have tried to love myself more and more every day; body, mind, and spirit,” they wrote. “I have days where I love my body, and days when I’m not happy; wishing I still looked like I did.”
“Today I am telling you all of this to shed some light on body dysmorphia and body positivity,” they said. “Being in shape is so much more than having a six pack, arms, and tight skin. My incredible partner @bethanycmeyers has taught me that. Last night they texted me ‘Just a reminder that you are beautiful and your body is too. Use this workout tonight to clear your head and strengthen your body for your busy day tomorrow.’ Thank you for always being an inspiration and beacon of light for body positivity.”
Tortorella shared this post after getting a drag makeover with Drag Race Season 9 finalist Trinity “The Tuck” Taylor for the website Them.
“I’ve been having public conversations about the community and my relationships for quite a bit now and the second I did and I realized exactly what my privilege was,” Tortorella recently told PEOPLE. “[With it] came this responsibility to widen the conversations as large as I could. It’s really just begun. I really want to take this conversation to a global level.”
This article originally appeared on PEOPLE.