It had already been a hectic week for Nicole Kidman. On August 30, she was at the Venice Film Festival to walk the red carpet for the premiere of her erotic thriller Babygirl, which received a seven-minute standing ovation from the audience. On September 2, she attended the London premiere of The Perfect Couple, before zipping over to Los Angeles for the US premiere of the same Netflix series on September 4. On September 6, she jetted back to Venice to be honoured with the film festival’s Best Actress prize, but there she was met with devastating news.
“Today, I arrived in Venice to find out shortly after my brave and beautiful mother, Janelle Anne Kidman, had just passed,” Nicole wrote in a statement that was then read out by Babygirl director Halina Reijn at the awards ceremony.
“I am in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her. She shaped me, she guided me and she made me. I am beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you through Halina,” the director continued, reading Nicole’s words. “The collision of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken. We love you all.”
Despite being primarily based in Nashville with her husband, Keith Urban, and daughters, Sunday, 16, and Faith, 13, Nicole had prioritised her connection to her mum, especially since her father, Dr Antony Kidman, unexpectedly died in 2014 while visiting Nicole’s sister, Antonia, and her six children in Singapore.
“We jump in and out quite a bit. Sometimes under the radar, which is always lovely, too,” Nicole told Studio 10 in July 2023 of visits to Sydney, where Antonia now lives. “The girls love it, too. We’re very much always back and forth. It’s a huge part of our life seeing my sister and all my nieces and nephews, and mama.”
During the pandemic, Nicole lamented that she missed her mum’s 80th birthday and, when they finally reunited, noted it had been eight months between hugs.
“I would love to be able to have a cup of tea with Mum and sit on the balcony and talk about life and have her tell me what I should be doing,” she said in a May 2020 interview with The Sydney Morning Herald, crediting Janelle, who worked as a nurse educator, as the secret to her success.
“She’s given me the fire to pursue the career I have because I’ve always wanted to please her,” she shared. “But she also carved her own path and wanted her daughters to have the same opportunity to carve their own paths.
“Mum didn’t necessarily get the career that she wanted, but she was determined that her daughters would have opportunities that were equal. That’s given me my life. And she gave me my life, she and my dad.”
Growing up, Janelle was a feminist who roped her daughters into the cause.
“I would go and hand out pamphlets for the Women’s Electoral Lobby because I was made to, and I was very embarrassed doing it,” Kidman shared on the NPR podcast Fresh Air in 2022. “I would sit in the back of the room sometimes – which was fascinating, actually – and listen to conversations. So I was privy to a lot very early on … As I got older, I relished it. And then I was grateful for it.”
During the same interview, Nicole alluded to her mum’s ailing health, noting she was visiting Australia at the time “primarily to take care of my mother and to have her surrounded by her grandchildren”.
She added, “Because of how close we are, my mum is giving me the chance to view the world through an 81-year-old woman’s eyes. That is so beneficial right now because she’s so cognisant. She has every brain faculty available, so she hasn’t lost anything. She hasn’t lost any memory, which is fascinating, and she’s extremely bright.”
As Janelle’s health deteriorated, Nicole became the carer to the woman who had nurtured her all her life.
“My mother was the greatest nurse and takes incredible care of you,” Nicole once told the Sydney Morning Herald. “At the same time, she does not suffer fools, you can’t get away with a superficial response, she will break it down and challenge you.”
Having dealt with parental loss before, Nicole is armed with some more tools this time around, including being more open about sharing her grief.
“I’ve realised we don’t talk about it enough,” she said on Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show soon after losing her father.
“At some point in our lives, everybody loses their parents and it’s awful … I’m amazed when people reach out, because it’s an awkward thing at times … but when you realise that someone has gone through a similar thing or is going through a similar thing, it really connects you.”
The support of her country music star husband, she added, is most healing of all.
“To have my husband just step up that way, it makes me cry,” she said. “We all go through hard times in our lives, but to be literally carried by your partner – and physically, at times, because I was so devastated – I’ll do anything for that man.”
