The father of two opened up about his daughters Esmeralda, 20-month, and newborn Amada Lee during Friday’s appearance on Ellen DeGeneres’ daytime show, even teasing fans with the first photo of the 2-week-old. (Unfortunately, it was a Photoshopped image of a baby with Ellen’s head)

Gosling, 35, did however share an anecdote about playground rules he’s been passing down to his eldest child. “When I was a younger man I had a fantasy of getting into the graffiti world. I was living downtown, and I heard that if you tag over someone else’s that that’s how you start a battle. So I did this for a few months and no one ever bothered to battle with me because I was so bad at it,” the Nice Guys star explained before setting up the story about Esmeralda, whom he adoringly calls Essy.
“Some kid has been erasing her name and writing their name over it. So now I’m in a proper tagging battle. And this kid has access to an unfair amount of chalk,” Gosling continued, adding, “I’m trying to explain to my little girl that this is [unacceptable]. She doesn’t care. She’s like, ‘Well let’s just chalk anywhere else,’ and I’m like, ‘No, no. They’re disrespecting your mother. Because, she gave you this name and they’re erasing it.’”
While keeping respect to his longtime love and the mother of his children Eva Mendes, Gosling does not go down without a fight.
“So the only way to really get back at them is to erase their name. And not disrespect their mother, but definitely put her on notice. Because I think she’s the chalk supplier,” he said. “You’ve got to be careful when you’re trying to teach your kid what a reasonable amount of vengeance is.”

Gosling and Mendes welcomed daughter Amada Lee at 8:03 a.m. on April 29, in Santa Monica, California. The birth comes less than a month after PEOPLE confirmed Mendes was pregnant.
“It’s like walking through a field of flowers every day. I live with angels. It’s a ray of sunshine,” Gosling sarcastically quipped about being in a household of females.