“When Ryan and I broke up, I was really proud of myself but also kind of confused and like, Am I doing the right thing? But I knew at the time that it would be better for Bentley and better for Ryan and myself too if we were separated because we clearly weren’t getting along,” the Teen Mom OG star admits in a behind-the-scenes MTV interview.
“I just wanted to make the healthiest choice for Bentley and for myself personally,” says Bookout, who shares son Bentley, 8, with Edwards. “I would definitely say that was the right choice — 100 percent.”
Bookout made her reality television debut on the very first episode of 16 and Pregnant, which premiered on MTV in June 2009. A “total overachiever” at her high school in Chattanooga, Tennessee, she got good grades, played softball and was on the cheerleading squad. During her junior year, she got pregnant and moved in with her then-fiancé, Edwards.
Edwards and Bookout welcomed Bentley in October 2008. Two years later, the duo, who faced their fair share of strains throughout their romance — much of which was documented by cameras — reached a breaking point in their relationship, and Bookout finally ended things in 2010.
Since their split seven years ago, the MTV stars have each found love with new partners: Bookoout is married to Taylor McKinney, with whom she shares daughter Jayde and son Maverick, and Edwards is married to Mackenzie Standifer Edwards.
But although they’ve moved on, Bookout and Edwards to continue to face trials in their relationship, including Edwards’ ongoing battle with substance abuse.
In her new book I Wasn’t Born Bulletproof, Bookout admitted that Edwards was her “most painful breakup.”
“I convinced myself that I needed to make it work and ignored a lot of red flags,” she writes in her book. “It was my second love, and my most toxic relationship. When it finally ended it was painful, but I also felt a sense of relief that the relationship was over.”
Teen Mom OG airs Mondays (9 p.m. ET) on MTV.
This article originally appeared on PEOPLE.