Have you guys got any idea how hard it’s been for me to keep the secret that Sam and Tara are engaged? Yep - I knew. And yep - it’s been absolutely KILLING ME!
Like seriously - someone give me a freaking gold star. Someone present me with an embossed certificate and merit badge - cause, I’ve been sitting on this delicious nugget since last week and I’ve not told a soul.
Not a one! Zip! Nada! No one.
And bloody hell - it’s been just about the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Because, damn me, if I haven’t wanted to shout the news from every rooftop. Damn me if I haven’t wanted to ring all the Church bells. And damn me if I haven’t got THIS close to employing some dude in knickerbockers to stand in the middle of Bourke Street Mall, town-crier-styles, on a milk crate, saying, ‘Hear ye! Hear ye! Real Love exists! Do not give up hope! Sam and Tara made it - you can too!’
Honestly - it’s been impossible.
And I know you’re feeling me. I know you, too, shed a silent tear last night as Sam said all he wanted to do was eat fast food and visit theme parks for the rest of eternity with Tara.
Don’t lie - you totally did.
And you - yes, you, boyfriend on the couch - I saw you too. You got all gulpy-gulpy as well, didn’t you, you big softie? You, too, thought, ‘Man, that guy's alright.’ And, ‘Bloody hell - how am I going to top THAT little display when I finally get around to asking Sharon to be me wife.’
Because you were totally swept up in the glorious love story that has been Sam and Tara as much as the rest of us.
But thank you, thank you, THANK YOU Sam and Tara for making it OK to believe in true love again.
Thanks for being such a goodamm delight to watch these past few weeks.
Sam - thanks for representing for all the nice guy gems we’ve been writing off all these years. You’ve now made it OK to give them a shot.
And thanks Tara, for proving that nice girls really do finish first.
Stick a fork in me, Bach Tragics - I’m done. I can now retire from having Very Important Opinions About Bachelor in Paradise, knowing we’ve all got the happy ending we deserve
Now - when’s Love Island on again?
You can read my exclusive chat with our happy love birds in this week’s issue of Who magazine.