Take it from Adele: Postpartum depression is a very real, debilitating experience that no-one, even a 10-time Grammy winner, is immune to potentially going through.
“I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me,” the 28-year-old British superstar, currently on her world tour until the end of November, tells Vanity Fair for her December cover interview.
“My knowledge of postpartum — or post-natal, as we call it in England — is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job,” she says. “But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life.”
The mother of one — who shares 4-year-old son Angelo James with partner of five years Simon Konecki, 42 — explains that she didn’t take antidepressants for her PPD, and that it took her a while to come around to the idea of connecting with other people about it even before Angelo was born.
“My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, ‘F— that, I ain’t hanging around with a f—in’ bunch of mothers,’ ” she says. “Then, without realising it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they’re a bit more patient. You’ll be talking to someone, but you’re not really listening, because you’re so f—in’ tired.”
As it turns out, finding friends who were going through the same thing and willing to open up about their struggles was difficult to jump-start, but the key to helping the singer cope.
“My friends who didn’t have kids would get annoyed with me, whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn’t judge each other,” she says. “One day I said to a friend, ‘I f—in’ hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I f—in’ hate this, too.’ And it was done. It lifted.”
Guilt is never not present for the “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)” singer when she’s away from her son, but it’s something that she has grown accustomed to having as a natural reality by being a working mum.
“I’m enjoying touring, but at times I feel guilty because I’m doing this massive tour, and even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can’t put him to bed,” she confesses.
“I never feel guilty when I’m not working,” she adds. “You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom. I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for him … I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again.”
When asked if she felt “brave” for having a child in the middle of big career success, Adele’s reply is quite unexpected.
“I think it’s the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurised into having kids, because that’s what adults do,” she says.
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