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Of all the gripes Meghan Markle has aired about royal life, her disdain for curtsying might be the most trivial.
In her Netflix docuseries Harry & Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex mocked the gesture, likening her first curtsy to something out of a “medieval times dinner and tournament.”
Arms outstretched, she performed an exaggerated bow and grinned, “Pleasure to meet you, Your Majesty.”
It was a moment meant to amuse — but it missed the point entirely.
Curtsying isn’t about theatrics, submission or outdated rituals. It’s a simple mark of respect.
I was reminded of this recently when Princess Anne visited the country to mark the centenary of the Royal Australian Corps of Signals.
As Colonel-in-Chief, she inspected troops on parade while wearing the Australian Army uniform for the first time at Victoria Barracks in Sydney on November 9.
Following the Fue de joie (a celebratory rifle salute) and three cheers for the Corps, she joined the soldiers and their loved ones for a garden party.
As the Princess Royal mingled with guests, I had the honour of being presented to her.
Ahead of the event, guests were given clear instructions: men would perform a neck bow, women a small curtsy, and handshakes would follow if initiated by Her Royal Highness.
When my moment came on the manicured lawn of the Officers’ Mess, I dipped briefly.
“Your Royal Highness, it is a pleasure to meet you,” I said with a smile, hands by my side until she offered hers and we shook before engaging in a few minutes of conversation.
No mockery required. Just a simple gesture of respect.
I understand why some people bristle at the idea of deference. Actor Rob McElhenney admitted on Welcome to Wrexham that “the idea of bowing to somebody… it triggers something.”
But in that garden party in Paddington, it didn’t feel like anything like subservience.
It felt like an expression of gratitude to Princess Anne for her presence, a way to thank the army for the wonderful celebration I was at, and for the history we were honouring.
For most of regular folk, curtsying is something we may only get to do once in our lives.
This was my second time after being presented to the Duchess of Edinburgh at the King’s Coronation Garden Party at Buckingham Palace in May 2023.
Curtsying and bowing were “not compulsory” but the proper thing to do “if you feel comfortable doing so”, a member of His Majesty’s Body Guard of the Honourable Corps of Gentlemen at Arms had told me earlier.
Some people chose not to, but I found that the formalities only added to the sense of occasion and fun at this once-in-a-lifetime event.
It can be awkward. On the immaculate grounds of the palace, I saw more than one heel get stuck in the grass as people stumbled.
Sarah Ferguson has been known to go a little further than her knees now allow, often grasping at her daughters to help her back up.
Possibly overcome with nerves during his royal encounter, actor Joaquin Phoenix accidentally curtsied instead of bowing when he greeted Prince William at the BAFTAs in 2020.
None of these missteps has resulted in anyone being sent to the Tower of London. If anything, they break the ice and leave the person with a fun anecdote to share.
The royals themselves are also no strangers to the act. Over the years, we’ve seen just about all of the Windsors perform a bow or curtsy to the reigning monarch.
Few could ever forget the poignant image of Princess Anne dropping low before her mother’s coffin.
This final act of reverence for Queen Elizabeth II wasn’t performative, but a simple expression of love from a daughter to her mother.
Of course, Meghan’s situation was unique. Imagine meeting your new boyfriend’s grandmother and wanting to make a good impression. And then it turns out that she just happens to be the Queen.
It would be easy to forgive Meghan for being nervous, but it’s harder when her words come across as just plain old disrespectful.
Complaining about the traditions and customs of the royal family, while continuing to cling to her Duchess of Sussex title, also comes off as more than a little hypocritical.
In a world that is increasingly casual, a little ceremony is never a bad thing, and I’ll always be happy to curtsy.
