An expert’s guide to buying your first sex toy

Beginners, listen up!
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If you ever had a question about sex toys, this Queensland mum is the perfect person to answer it.

In the eight years she’s worked for a lingerie and toy retailer Honey Birdette, Miss C has sold thousands of them – and now she’s passing on her tips and tricks on how to find the right one for you.

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If you’re nervous – don’t be.  She says most people are.

“It’s very rare that someone will walk in and say ‘hey, I’m here for a vibrator!’.  Eventually you will find out that they are, but that’s done through conversation and getting to know your customer.  It’s about finding out where she’s at in her life or where the couple is at in their relationship,” she says.

“What I try to do is make sure that nobody walks into our store without seeing what we have to offer, in particular the toys and accessories. They’re what sets us apart, and they’re something that we worked very hard to make accessible to everybody so that couples don’t ever have to feel uncomfortable about seeking something to spice things up in the bedroom.”

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Abbie Chatfield
The Bachelor’s Abbie Chatfield has long been sex-postive and open about owning sex toys. (Credit: Instagram)

Miss C says while some women might come into her store looking for lingerie, she makes sure they don’t leave without seeing ‘The Toy Wall’.

“I do say to ladies ‘you need to see this – this is the best part of the store’.”

“There’s absolutely no obligation to walk out with something, but at least they know they can find us easily if they later think ‘maybe I do want to try that’.”

Miss C says many women have never used a toy, but that can be easily changed with a little education.

“I have had women come back and hug me over toys that I’ve sold them.   Some have never had a toy before, and they have literally come into the store saying ‘you’ve changed my life.  I did not know I could orgasm like that, thank you!'”

When it comes to finding the right product for each customer, Miss C says that can be achieved with just a few questions.

“I like to find out if she’s owned a toy before, what is was, whether she used it on her own or with a partner.  Then once I know where the lady’s at in her sexual life, we try to tailor the toy to what’s going to be right for her at that time,” she said.

And it’s not just novices who can benefit from her expertise.

“Sometimes we like a lady to challenge herself by experiencing a type of orgasm that she hasn’t before.  If you get a lady who’s struggled to have multiple orgasms, we can recommend a toy that can help her achieve that,” she says.

“I like to ask enough questions to have enough information – not too much – to point somebody in the right direction whether that be to challenge her to experience a kind of orgasm that she hasn’t before, or to experience one for the first time.”

honey birdette sex toy
“I like to ask enough questions to have enough information – not too much – to point somebody in the right direction,” Miss C says of helping people buy their first toy. (Credit: Supplied)

“Not every toy is for everyone, and not everything is for everyone at every point in their life either.  A lady who liked a certain toy 12 months ago might now have a different relationship status and want to try something different.  The more you get to know your body, the more you can get to know what you want from your toys.”

With the boom in people buying sex toys online during lockdown this year, Miss C took to Honey Birdette’s social channels to conduct live tutorials to explain different products.

“And it was really beneficial.  People were like ‘I had no idea!'” she says.

“We wanted to make sure customers knew what they were getting rather than relying on a three-line description on a website.  So every week, I picked a toy and I talked about it and everything it does and what it’s good for, and women could determine whether it was right for them.”

“There are so many different reasons for buying a toy for a man or a woman, but they can definitely improve the experience that they have, whether it’s with somebody or on your own.  I think it’s also a wonderful way for a woman to get to know her body and what she likes, rather than relying on somebody else to work that out for her.”

Despite taking on such a public role online during COVID, Miss C says she would never have gone into a conventional adult store to explore their products.

“It’s a very personal topic.  I’m a mum and I’m a professional, and I’ve never been comfortable talking about these things in sex stores.  For me, I love that a woman can come in and talk to a woman who has that knowledge.  They can at least ask questions then work out whether it’s something they’d like to do,” she says.

“I think every woman deserves to have amazing orgasms, and if she can have access to that by visiting us, then that makes me happy.”

And while quality toys can cost up to $200, Miss C says they’re worth every cent.

“A $20 toy you get elsewhere is likely to be battery operated and it’s going to let you down.  It’ll conk out and die when you need it most,” she says.

“A toy is meant to be reliable, so you want it to be completely charged so that it can go for six hours, you want intense power and you want it to last.  Our toys are made out of a medical-grade silicone that won’t absorb bacteria so they’re better for you.”

“You can also get 10 years out of a quality toy.  I don’t know about you, but $200 for 10 years of excellent orgasms is money well spent.”

Ready to delve into the world of sex toys? Here’s our top picks for beginners!

(Credit: Frenchie)

The Double Entendre, $95, Frenchie

As easy to use as it is pleasurable this handy toy is beginner-friendly both solo and as a couple. With six easy modes for varying levels of pleasure it’s also waterproof so can be taken to the shower so the pleasure never has to stop. 


Honey Birdette
(Credit: Supplied)


Honey Birdette has meticulously refined the external stimulator to bring you a versatile vibe that isn’t just for solo sessions. Honey Birdette’s Venus can easily be incorporated into partner play with its non-intimidating design and ergonomic shape. Venus is 100% waterproof so you can take your buzzing buddy into the shower or bath for a relaxing weekend wind-down.

Buy it here for $200 at Honey Birdette

Je Joue Mimi soft
(Credit: Supplied)

Je Joue Mimi Soft

Small enough to fit into the palm of your hand, the Je Joue Mimi Soft  is the perfect clitoral stimulator for beginners or those sensitive to touch thanks to its lower frequency vibrations. It’s waterproof and has five speeds and seven powerful patterns to explore.

Buy it here for $119.95 at Love Honey

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