The sad passing of Nicole Kidman’s mother Janelle has inspired the actress to take on an usual role in becoming a death doula.
“As my mother was passing, she was lonely, and there was only so much the family could provide,” Nicole said while speaking at University of San Francisco on April 11, reported the San Francisco Chronicle.
“Between my sister and I, we have so many children and our careers and our work, and wanting to take care of her, because my father wasn’t in the world anymore, and that’s when I went, ‘I wish there was these people in the world that were there to sit impartially and just provide solace and care.’”
Nicole admitted to the crowd that she knew the move sounded “a little weird.”
“So that’s part of my expansion and one of the things I will be learning,” she said.
Nicole isn’t the only celebrity to have shown an interest in this field.
Actress Riley Keough also trained as a death doula following the suicide of her brother Benjamin in 2020.
“That’s really what’s helped me, being able to put myself in a position of service,” she told the New York Times. “If I can help other people, maybe I can find some way to help myself.”
What is a death doula?
According to certified death doula, end-of-life care planner and reiki master Beth Montgomery, a death doula is a non-medical professional who supports people through the preplanning, dying, and grief phases of life.
“I like to describe us as the event planners for the most intense and emotional experience any of us will ever go through,” Beth tells WHO.
“We connect the people we serve to resources they may not have known existed, we hold steady ground when everything feels chaotic, we educate families about choices – real choices – that most people never knew they had, and we show up before, during, and after the death, especially for the family and loved ones who are often the most lost in the whole experience.”
What kinds of services do death doulas typically provide?
Death doulas work spans every part of the journey – including before, during and after the death, Beth explains.
“Before someone is actively dying, I help with preplanning and advance care directives, sitting with someone and asking the questions most people avoid,” she tells. “And then mediating family meetings to make sure everyone is on the same page.”
During the dying process itself, Beth is there as the person labours out of life.
“I’m a steady presence – offering suggestions, educating the family about what’s happening in the body, providing respite care for exhausted caregivers, and advocating fiercely for the dying person’s wishes,” she continues.
“Immediately after the death, I help with logistics, guide the family toward the arrangements their loved one wanted, and if I’m invited, I can help wash and prepare their loved one’s body before they go to the next leg of their journey. I can even help facilitate a home funeral if that’s what the family wants.”
A death doula is then there for the after – the grief – which can include legacy work, sitting with someone while they share their stories, or even a redo on a funeral that didn’t feel right the first time.
“It’s always unique to what is most meaningful to the person who is grieving,” Beth shares. “Sometimes people just need to be witnessed in their grief. That’s something our culture is not great at.”
What are some of the common misconceptions about death doulas?
“That we’re all crystals and incense,” Beth admits, explaining people often misunderstand what a death doula really is.
“And look, there are absolutely death doulas out there who incorporate rituals, oils, and a more spiritual approach, and that’s beautiful for the families who want that,” she shares. “But most of us are professionally trained, deeply knowledgeable, and immeasurably practical when it comes to navigating the end-of-life landscape.”
“Being non-medical doesn’t mean we can’t sit in a room with a hospice team and translate everything they’re saying into language a grieving family can actually absorb and act on,” Beth adds.
ABOUT BETH
Beth Montgomery is located in the United States and is a Certified Death Doula, End-of-Life Care Planner, and Reiki Master who helps individuals and families navigate death, dying, and grief with clarity and compassion. She is the founder of the annual Death, Dying & Grief event in Central PA and creator of a comprehensive Death Doula Certification program. Beth’s work blends practical planning with emotional and spiritual support, creating space for honest conversations about mortality. She believes that when we talk about death openly, we live more intentionally.
Website: www.deathdoulabeth.com
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@deathdoulabeth
Instagram: www.instagram.com/deathdoulabeth
