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First dates can be a little intimidating—maybe you’ve been set up on a blind date? Or maybe you’ve met them on an app? Or maybe you’ve been quietly working up the courage to ask them out for a while now?
Whatever the case, you obviously want to get to know them better otherwise you wouldn’t be on the date at all! Unfortunately, a lot of people encounter a huge problem here: they get nervous.
When you’re full of anxiety, a lot of your rational thinking can go out the window—and thus, you might end up becoming a stuttering, awkward mess, and you can kiss the chances of a second date goodbye.
How Do You Get To Know Someone Without Being Nervous?
Remember, the goal of a first date is to get to know each other and hopefully set up some groundwork for a future relationship. Bonus points if you manage to make them laugh because being funny always helps your chances.
Being able to carry a conversation well is the key aspect of being a good date. However, if you don’t naturally have the gift of gab, you may find it a little difficult to keep the ‘conversational fire’ alive.
There’s no shame in not knowing what things to ask about on a first date. That’s why we’ve come up with a list of good first date questions and topics that will allow you to learn more about your date, while also showing off your personality.
The Five Best First Date Questions
Ever wondered what to talk about on a first date? These 5 questions will keep the conversation alive, and allow you to get to know the person behind the ‘first-date front’.
How Was Your Day Today?
It would be pretty intimidating to start off a first-date by firing off a bunch of hardline questions like an interrogator. Before you get down to asking the important stuff, it’s always a good idea to ask your date how their day was. This shows a sense of tact and politeness and helps you start the date off on a positive note.
You can also tell a lot about a person by how they answer this question. If they say “good” or “fine” and don’t ask about your day, then they might be a little self-centred. If they go on a long spiel about everything they did, then you know that they’re an open and talkative person.
Hot Tip:
You can’t ask too many questions on a first date. Always try to follow up questions with more questions, you’re trying to get to know them after all.
What Do You Do In Your Free Time?
This is one of the best questions to ask on a first date. Be it something as simple as reading, watching TV shows, or browsing Twitter; this question helps you get to know your date a little better. You can find out if they’re and up-and-go person, or more of a couch potato. It’s also a great way to find some common ground with your date, which could lead to some rabbit holes of conversation.
Hot Tip:
Use common etiquette when you’re on a date. Always be polite, don’t interrupt, and listen to what your date is saying.
What Are You Really Passionate About?
Everyone has something that they’re passionate about. If you can start talking about passions, this can really drive the conversation along and help you get to know the person. This is also an especially good question to ask a guy; a lot of guys are quite shy on dates and can throw up a bit of a ‘too-cool-for-school’ vibe to compensate, but if you can get a guy talking about one of his hobbies and passions, you can get even the most stoic guy to open up to you.
Hot Tip:
Maintain eye contact. Don’t stare at your date’s eyes, but you should lock eyes when they’re talking. This shows both confidence and interest.
What Are Your Friends/Family Like?
We find that this is one of the better questions to ask a girl on a date. By asking about the people she cares about, you’re taking an active interest in her personal life, this shows genuine interest beyond a superficial level. Most people love talking about the important people in their lives, and might even have some juicy tidbits of gossip for you. Plus, if you’re looking to date someone, then you’ll likely be meeting their friends as well, and knowing about them in advance can help you decide if they’re right for you.
Hot Tip:
Ask permission if you want to get physical. Saying “Can I hold your hand?” or even “May I kiss you?” shows that you respect them and value and their consent.
Final Tip:
Relax! Your date is probably as nervous as you are. Taking a few deep breaths when you find yourself getting too anxious can ease your tension.
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