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Gwyneth Paltrow spills on ‘the worst heartbreak ever’

Mid-life meltdowns and picking up the pieces
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Gwyneth Paltrow embraced turning 50 on September 27 and to hammer the point home, she posted nude pictures of her gold-painted body to mark the milestone. 

“I like who I am. And I know the direction I’m going in,” she told People magazine of how her confidence has only grown with age. “There’s an ease that has happened.” 

Less straightforward is the life shift she faced the month of her birthday, with her eldest daughter, Apple, 18, leaving home for college. 

“It’s been a major transition. I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew it would be hard because Apple and I are so close and were together all the time,” Paltrow – who also shares Moses, 16, with ex-husband Chris Martin, and co-parents husband Brad Falchuk’s kids, Isabella, 18, and Brody, 16 – told Us Weekly

“But I had no idea. It was like the worst heartbreak I’ve ever [felt]. I felt like the love of my life broke up with me for weeks,” she added.

“It was terrible. Now, I’m getting more used to it, and it also helps to see her happy and well adjusted. That makes a huge difference.” 

Gwyneth Paltrow
“I like who I am. And I know the direction I’m going in” (Credit: Getty) (Credit: Getty)

Embracing life’s ups and downs, and growing through change, has been a theme for Paltrow, including the post-marriage relationship she’s carved out with Martin since the pair “consciously uncoupled” in 2014 after more than a decade. 

“I took it as a huge failure. I felt like I had let everyone down. It’s still hard,” Paltrow admitted at the Goop Immersive wellness experience at the Santa Monica Proper Hotel on October 16. 

“A couple weeks ago, my son came home from his dad’s and he said, ‘It’s just hard for me that I don’t get to be with you guys at the same time.’ And so we all went out to dinner last week! Being alive is just a series of lessons and we learn them through pain, unfortunately.” 

Gwyneth Paltrow
Seeing double! (Credit: Instagram) (Credit: Instagram)

At the same summit, Paltrow spilled about how she’s trying to pass on her high self-esteem and optimistic outlook to Apple. 

“I’ve realised it’s a losing battle to say ‘don’t be on Instagram’ and ‘don’t see where your friends are on Snap Maps’. It’s like when my mum would walk into my room when I was listening to N.W.A. and say, ‘What kind of music is this? There’s no melody,’” she joked. 

“They are never getting off social media, unless there’s some kind of miracle or Armageddon.” 

Gwyneth Paltrow
“I’m trying to respect her as this emerging adult.” (Credit: Instagram) (Credit: Instagram)

Instead, she said, she looks for other opportunities to connect. “She’s had a big growth step going to college. So every little opening she gives me, that she talks to me about her experience of being this new person on campus, I try to lean into,” said Paltrow. 

“I’m trying to respect her as this emerging adult.” 

She’s come a long way since dropping Apple off at her new college dorm. “It was horrible. It was truly horrifying. I was sick to my stomach, bursting into tears,” Paltrow told People, adding she’s learning to embrace change.

“I’m grateful for the transitions. Especially as a mother, I’ve really cherished every chapter of their lives,” she said. “It’s funny, when they were born, I was like, ‘It’s never going to be better than this. But then they were 2, then 5, and every stage I’ve been like, ‘This is better than the last.’ I feel that way now.”

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