"It was really hard for me to deal with it in that sort of environment where I can't just be with my family," he told 10 Daily of his discovery that his nan had passed away.
"I was super close to my nan. Every weekend I saw her, she took me to church. The guy I am today I owe a lot to what my nan did for me."
"I didn't want to be in that environment anymore," he continued. "It was difficult because everyone was backing Carlin as a frontrunner and I felt like I was in the lead. It was difficult to tell [Angie] that I didn't want to be there anymore, but obviously she said family always comes first.
"At the same time, you can see from watching it that it was really hard leaving Angie and definitely hard for myself to come to that decision. Looking back on it I do feel like I made a mistake. It's a bit gutting to be fair.
The loveable reality star admits that his way of processing tough situations is to shut down push people away.
"I'm one of those guys that, once I've made my mind up, I'll stick to a decision even though I might not think it's the right thing to do. Looking back on it I'm like f--king hell, you're an idiot."
"I would have liked to have gone back but I had made my decision," he said, adding, "I would have been too embarrassed to walk back in like, 'It's me again!' she would have been like 'What the hell are you doing here?'"
After the episode aired, Ciarran took to his Instagram account to share some final words on his time in the Bachelorette mansion.
"So as you all now know I’m no longer a part of the show or in the race for Angie’s heart!" he wrote.
"Due to unforeseen family reasons I had to make the choice of leaving. This was by far the hardest decision I had to make on here. Knowing that I had an amazing connection with Angie and then having to tell her I had to leave was just gut wrenching."
He continued:
"[Angie] is an amazing woman and is full of love to give and can never wipe that big smile off her face! Thank you for letting me be apart of this experience on your quest (not journey) to find a man you can hopefully say “I love you” too.
"I wish Angie all the best for the rest of the show and now all the lads in there finally have a chance now I’m not longer in the race haha! Big love to you all!"
