When I first came across Kate Kennedy’s social media page, I was fascinated. It’s not every day you come across a real-life sugar baby.
We may hear whispers of girls in the friend group who are on Seeking (the famous sugar daddy website), but to hear someone speak so openly and unapologetically about the taboo topic online is rare.
“I lived in secret for a very long time,” Kate admits when we start chatting. “I definitely wasn’t always this open.” It’s a surprising admission given her Instagram is now littered with photos of expensive gifts, private jets and luxury hotels.
Then there’s her uber-successful podcast, Make Them Pay, which has garnered millions of views through social media clips. I’ll leave you to guess what that’s about.
What struck me most about Kate, though, wasn’t the boujee bags or the crazy stories; it was how ordinary she seemed. Behind the 5-star restaurants and champagne was just a woman chatting candidly about work and everyday life.
Our conversation felt the same. It was less like a juicy Love Island intro and more like someone determined to strip away the stigma surrounding an industry most of us only think we understand.
‘I never had to worry about money’
Before the launch of her podcast last year, Kennedy’s family were completely in the dark about her side career.
“They weren’t exactly stoked, but I wasn’t asking for permission. I’d already been doing it for 12 or 13 years,” she laughs.
Kate first discovered sugar dating around 15 years ago. “I always wanted to do it,” she told me matter-of-factly.
She briefly tried in Australia but quickly realised it was too close to home. “I knew too many people. I went on one date and thought, ‘I can’t do this here.'”
It wasn’t until she moved to America that she finally gave it a proper go. “I’d watched shows like Secret Diary of a Call Girl and I was really drawn to it,” she says. “I was turned on by the idea. It wasn’t something I accidentally fell into. I genuinely wanted to do it.”
Rather than feeling trapped by the work, Kate describes it as the thing that gave her freedom.
“I watched all my friends struggle to make ends meet,” she explains. “Meanwhile, I travelled for about ten years, picked up bartending jobs, worked as a tour guide in Europe and never really had to worry about money.”
When I ask whether there have been any downsides, she pauses.
“It definitely makes dating harder,” she admits. “But I don’t really see that as a negative anymore. If a man wants to be in my life, he’d have to be pretty good because I’m not willing to give this up.”
Time-poor, normal men
It was an answer I hadn’t expected. So many conversations around sex work focus on regret or trauma. Those experiences are real and valid, but Kate’s story is different – and that is a reality, too.
“I hate saying it’s been amazing because I don’t want people to think everyone should do it,” she clarifies. “But for me personally, it’s been pretty incredible.”
That doesn’t mean every day is glamorous. “Sometimes you just don’t want to go to work,” she shrugs. “The problem is people hear a sex worker say that and immediately think they’re being exploited.”
She says there are misconceptions about the men she sees, too.
“I think people picture old, creepy men,” she said. “Most are just normal businessmen, doctors or fathers who are incredibly time-poor.”
It’s not because they don’t love their wives
Some are married. Some aren’t. And while she knows that part of her work makes many people uncomfortable, Kate has made peace with it.
“If I said no to married men,” she admitted honestly, “I wouldn’t make very much money.”
In her experience, paid companionship can sometimes create less emotional fallout than a workplace affair because, as she puts it, “I’m never trying to replace anyone’s marriage.”
As our conversation drifts towards relationships, Kate admits the job has changed her perspective on marriage.
“I’ve gained a lot of empathy for men,” she reflects. “You hear why they’re seeking intimacy elsewhere and, often, it has very little to do with not loving their wives.”
Instead, she believes many couples simply lose the sexual connection they once had.
It’s a perspective that challenges even some of my own ideas about long-term relationships.
Maybe happily ever after is more complicated than we were led to believe. They definitely left that part out of the Disney movies.
Read more columns in the Between Us series, here.
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