There’s no denying that sex work is a nuanced and often contentious subject, with compelling arguments on both sides. My main concern has always been exploitation: are individuals being coerced by someone in their lives, or driven by desperate circumstances, into performing sexual acts for money? In many cases, the answer is unfortunately yes. However, it’s equally important to acknowledge that this is not always the case.
Evie and Axel are a deeply connected couple whose love for one another is immediately apparent when you speak with them. There is no sense of manipulation or pressure underpinning their decision to have sex with others for money. Instead, it’s a shared purpose and a mutual choice; just two people navigating an unconventional path together.
“We crossed paths three years ago at a touch facilitation workshop,” they told me. Seeing the confusion on my face, they explained it’s a “reverent and completely nonsexual space built around the practice of giving and receiving nurturing touch.”
Immediately bonding over their shared values and commitment to living an authentic life, Axel confessed: “Even though it wasn’t clear yet whether it would be romantic or something else, I knew this was a person I wanted in my life one way or another.”
Explaining that their relationship began with a more open, polyamorous dynamic, the couple have been sharing intimacy with select friends in their personal lives; all the while remaining romantically monogamous together. “We do it together as a couple rather than as two individuals having solo experiences,” Evie says.
Mum’s blessing and a $1,200 hourly rate
“The decision to offer sex professionally came from many years of prior experience,” Axel said. “Evie has worked as an escort since 2017 after a working life spent in the creative world.” Axel, on the other hand, continues to work in IT as a software developer and project manager.
“We felt confident that we were at a stage in our own journey where we felt able to support others in theirs,” they told me. “We’d seen what safe, loving exploration had created in our own lives, and we wanted to offer that same possibility for others, side by side.”
Beginning their work together felt immediately right for the couple. “We quickly found that working together was both natural and incredibly rewarding, and we felt assured that this was the direction we wanted to take together.” And with their hourly rate starting from $1,200, it has turned out to be a hugely lucrative career.
Sharing how family and friends responded to their decision to do sex work together, Axel gushed: “Everybody close to me has been incredibly supportive. In fact, the first person I shared it with was my mum, who thought it was a wonderful idea and said she felt I’d be really well suited to this kind of work.”
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How sexual exploration can lead to healing
“There’s a common assumption about men in this industry, that you must be in it for sexual gratification,” Axel began, before adding the reality is that this is a job where you are of genuine service. “You’re offering your client something profound, in an intimate and sometimes quite vulnerable setting,” he explained. “It takes genuine responsibility to show up for another person in that way.”
“The connection between sexuality, psychology and growth has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember,” Evie said. “My own exploration brought me so much healing that I felt called to offer that to others.” Reflecting on Axel and his decision to join her in the sex work industry, she added: “He has a grounded, safe, generous essence, and I could see how much that would give to the people he works with.”
‘Every client is a whole world of their own’
When I asked them to describe their typical client, the couple earnestly shook their heads and said it would be impossible. “The people we see range from their twenties into their seventies,” Evie said. “They’re men, women and nonbinary people, of every culture, ability and walk of life.”
“Relationship status is just as varied: single people, married people, monogamous and polyamorous couples, and plenty of people somewhere in between,” Axel continued. “We often welcome couples emerging from long marriages who want a safe and professional space to start trying new things together.”
Explaining how the process works, the couple told me that it all begins with a phone call: “It’s where we feel whether we’re truly aligned with someone’s desires and to check that we are a good fit for them.” By the time they meet a client, everyone knows exactly where they stand.
“Every client is a whole world of their own, and they’re some of the loveliest humans we’ve had the privilege of knowing,” Evie said. “What they all have in common is courage, because it takes real courage to reach out and say, ‘I want to know myself more deeply.’”
‘One of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done’
Beyond the bookings, there’s a bigger reason why Evie and Axel are in this work. Their goal is to chip away at the stigma around sex work and sexuality in general, so that more people will have the opportunity to experience what they have.
“When someone feels safe enough to embrace their sexuality without shame, it flows into the rest of their life,” Evie said. “They become better partners, better parents, better friends, better humans in general.” Showing there truly is a side of sex work that is being overlooked by the vast majority of people, she continued: “It is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done, and I genuinely believe the world is better for it.”
The biggest surprise for the couple since engaging in sex work together is just how few surprises there actually were. “The work folded into our relationship with an ease neither of us quite expected,” Axel said. “I know we have each other’s backs and I never feel out of my depth with Evie by my side.”
“You always have a concern that working with your partner might affect your own sex life or your relationship, but for us it’s been the opposite,” Evie added. “It’s brought more excitement and more connection, because we feel like we’re really tapping into our purpose.”
Read more columns in the Between Us series, here.
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