Channel Ten/Supplied
He got given the boot tonight in an unexpected turn of events, brought about by Laurina choosing to pick “Nice Guy American Jarrod” over evil Gepetto puppet master, Daniel.
No big loss, I hear you say.
Um – WHAT? Are you kidding? This Yanky Doodle “Douchbag” (the girl’s term, not mine) was the best thing to happen to this series of Bachelor in Paradise since Flo’s side boob in episode one.
OK, steady on, I hear you say. But stay with me. Because while this guy was undeniably a player. And yes, he did actually go on the record and say “They call me Gepetto, because I make women my puppets” (vomit, vomit, vomit). And yes, he was clearly just cosying up to Nina so he could get a rose and sit poolside slamming mojitos with Wyse the barman for one more week. But at least he was interesting – which is more than can be said for some of the others currently taking residence in the Drama Cabana.
Let’s chat for moment about Luke and Lisa. Um, excuse me – aren’t those two supposed to have fallen truly, madly, deeply in love? Everyone keeps referring to them as a sure thing – so how come we know absolutely nothing about their burgeoning love story?
I’ll tell you why – because they’re super, mega boring. And the producers know we’d turn off in droves if all we saw were Ma and Pa sitting amiably on a hammock, planning their lives together.
OK, that’s a littler harsh. But you get my drift. Honestly – I can think of no other reason why Producers are giving absolutely zero air time to these two. Surely if you had to pick to boot someone or keep someone you’d engineer a way to shoo these two moochers off the island? They’re taking up valuable real estate! And I swear to god, if Leah leaves without the Love of Her Life, I will be ropable. ROPABLE, I tell you.
But I guess this isn’t Survivor. Which is a bit of a shame, because, even though all the participants on this show seem to think ‘The Game’ aspect of this show is not the purpose – I disagree. I think it’s ENTIRELY the purpose.
Yeah, we get that you’re all there to find love. But I’m there to be entertained. So band together and conspire to keep the interesting ones in.
OK, so Grant should have been booted for the two-faced pash turnaround he pulled on our girl Leah. One minute he’s all like, ‘This is the best date I’ve ever been on in Paradise (um, hello – didn’t you PROPOSE to some Yank chick on one of your series?!) – the next he’s doing a double hug in the water with Ali, and professing some sort of everlasting connection.
Ick. But at least he stirred things up. And at least him and Daniel kept things interesting. By Daniel going after Nina, Keira AND Laurina, he’s forced everyone to up their game, gee up the shenanigans and get things interesting again.
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