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The premiere of The Bachelor 2018 was everything we had hoped for and more: there were laughs (far more this season than last, sorry Matty J), a few crazy moments (Cass, we all know you don’t share whose name you wrote in your diary) and some definite chemistry (Brooke Badger, anyone?)
While I was minding my own business watching the show (AKA telling my boyfriend to shut up and sit down or get out of the room), I noticed my usually completely disinterested partner start to pipe up with more commentary than Osher Gunsberg.
Here, 16 things he said while watching episode one of The Bachelor Australia.
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When Nick took Shannon for a walk:
“Her heels are going to get stuck in the grass” – strangely observational for someone who has never, that I know of, worn heels
When Dasha started doing sit-ups with her legs around Nick’s head:
“Impressive, but I’d run, mate”
At various times during the episode:
“Wow, some girls are so crazy”
About Brooke:
“I like that little rugby one”
A strange observation:
“Gosh, a lot of girls look like owls”
About Cass:
“Oh yep, she’s crazy send her home”
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Then this:
“Oh, you gotta send her home mate, she’s already got feelings, you’re just going to hurt her even more”
About the rose ceremony:
“This is the good part”
During the rose ceremony:
“Cass is getting sweaty”
Not sure who he was talking about:
“What’s wrong with that girl?”
After Cass gets a rose:
“I think he chose her because he was scared”
Still on Cass:
“She thinks she’s won now, look at her”
Some guesswork:
“Sunshine’s going home”
A good question:
Wait, where’s pool girl?????”
The final rose:
“OH, IT’S THE LAST ONE”
And the credits roll:
*Silence* and then, “that’s great.”
This article originally appeared on marie claire
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