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Hello, Valentine’s Day! If you’re coupled up, good for you! If you’re single (and, let us hold your hand when we say this), this day is just as much for you as it is for your loved-up friends.
Sure, being victimised by an onslaught of romantic Instagram posts (usually featuring a very average-looking man, sorry) and increased wait times for your favourite restaurant on UberEATS can be exhausting.
However, V-day is a time for love in all forms, even self-love.
This is where the art of the solo date comes in. According to Christine Rafe Lovehoney’s sex and relationship expert, taking yourself out (on a date, that is) is the ultimate act of self-love.
“Solo dates are a fantastic way to deepen self-connection and self-confidence,” Rafe explains.
“Spending intentional time alone allows you to check in with your own needs, desires, and emotions without external influences.”
So, if you’re keen to date yourself on 14 February, here are the best ways to do just that:
1. A solo dinner or cafe date
“Enjoying a meal alone lets you focus on flavours, people-watching, and simply being in the moment,” Rafe says.
To help us singletons out, Lovehoney is launching OLOS — a free dining experience this Valentine’s Day (14 February) where the only option is to book a table for one.
Valued at $250, solo diners will be treated to a free 3-course aphrodisiac-inspired dining experience featuring fine wines and cocktails, and a take-home sex toy of choice.
Honestly, this sounds just as good, if not better than any couple’s date we could go on.
2. A movie date
“Watching a film solo allows you to fully immerse in the experience without distraction,” Rafe notes.
“Bonus points for a cosy setup with your favourite snacks and a candle for added ambience.”
Another plus? You’re guaranteed to be watching your favourite classic or most enjoyed genre if you’re the only one picking!
3. An art gallery or museum visit
Yep, this one is for the girls who want to feel cultured (on a budget).
“Exploring creative spaces at your own pace helps you connect with emotions and ideas without external input or pressure to move faster or slower than you want to,” Rafe explains.
4. A solo spa day
There’s nothing we love more than a trip to the spa (yes, please get all of the knots out of our necks).
Rafe notes booking a massage, facial, or sauna session is the ultimate self-care experience — not to mention, a great way to give yourself some extra attention.
5. A pleasure-focused evening
“Exploring self-pleasure is a great way to boost confidence and understand your desires,” Rafe notes.
“Whether you try out a Lovehoney mini vibrator or indulge in a guided sensual meditation, it’s a date night worth repeating.”
If you need some help picking out the perfect vibe, we have a thoughtfully curated list here.
How to get over the awkwardness of a solo date
There’s no need to make your first solo date a big one — especially if you’re concerned about people judging you.
First, let us remind you that no one is thinking about you as much as you are!
Second, you can always start with a small experience like a scenic walk or morning coffee.
“Reframe the experience as an act of self-care rather than something ‘lonely’,” Rafe says.
“If dining alone feels intimidating, sit at the bar or bring a journal to make the experience feel purposeful.”
Are solo dates just for single people?
No! While dinner for one is great for our singletons, Rafe says those who want to enhance their relationship with their partner can also benefit from solo dates.
“This self-awareness from a solo date can make you a more present and fulfilled partner, fostering healthier communication and independence in a relationship,” she says.
“Plus, when you’re comfortable enjoying your own company, it removes the pressure on your partner to always be your source of entertainment or emotional support, creating a more balanced dynamic.”
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