As relationship experts dub December 11 “break-up day”, we know the last month of the year can often serve as the last straw for a lot of relationships (hello, Christmas break-ups).
And, it seems even A-listers aren’t immune to unwrapping a whole lot of relationship drama over the festive season. Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) split over Thanksgiving weekend (late November/early December) in Colorado as Megan reportedly found things on MGK’s phone she didn’t like (oh dear).
While the contents of your partner’s phone might not be an issue, if tensions between you and your SO are on the rise as Christmas inches closer, here’s how to avoid letting them ruin your relationship.
Wait, why do couples break up in December?
According to Michelle Olaithe, Clinical Psychologist and Psychology Advisor at HealthBright, December can take a toll on even the most solid relationships.
“The holiday season brings a lot of pressure—between financial strain, high expectations, and the chaos of social events, things can get tense,” she says.
“Research shows that the most common relationship stressors—work or study pressures (25.8%), mental health struggles (22.1%), and financial worries (20%) tend to peak around this time of year.”
Combine this with the added strain of Christmas gatherings and school holidays, and you have a recipe for a festive season fallout.
How can I avoid breaking up with my partner over Christmas?
Whether you don’t want to spend all Christmas Day with your in-laws or you want your partner to help organise lunch, Michelle says the key to avoiding a Christmas break-up is communication and teamwork.
“Instead of avoiding conflict, focus on how you approach disagreements,” she notes.
“View them as opportunities to grow together, not threats to your bond.”
Michelle advises that it’s best to break up with the idea of the perfect celebration and instead prioritise checking in with your partner.
“When your partner brings up an issue, see it as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship, not an attack,” she explains.
“Share responsibilities during the holidays based on each other’s strengths, and don’t forget to show appreciation with small gestures like notes, acts of kindness, or simply saying ‘I love you’.”
Lastly, prioritising self-care and quality time with your partner will help you reconnect when things are tense.
How to cope with a break-up over Christmas?
If you have broken up with your partner this Christmas, or are considering it, Michelle explains that it is normal to feel like part of you is sad, mad, or missing.
“The parts of our brain responsible for craving and emotional regulation light up like your neighbours’ Christmas lights when you desire to be near someone, and crucial brain chemicals that help regulate mood become unbalanced when we can’t get that closeness,” Michelle says.
“People are just hardwired for human connection and closeness. So, you’re going to need to take this one slowly, identify your emotions, name them, and then pick healthy soothing or activating actions.”
Michelle explains these actions range from talking to a friend, doing activities you normally enjoy, having a warm bath, or listening to some favourite music (perhaps some carols, if you’re in the mood).
“Catch the negative thinking that is going to come from “wishing it was different” or admonishing yourself for “should have knowns”, and try to rebalance them with logic, acceptance, and self-compassion,” she says.
