The education system has come a long way since Patricia Gordon Stevens’ time, in fact, her story might totally shock the younger generation.
Sitting across from me, I never would have guessed the life Stevens had led. 71 years young with long blonde hair and an uncanny resemblance to Stevie Knicks; she looks every bit the rockstar.
But when Stevens was just 17, she was expelled from the school she loved for being pregnant. Heartbroken, angry and upset; she could feel the eyes of her classmates burning into the back of her head.
“I felt as though I had a scarlet letter,” she says.
You’re On Your Own Kid
After getting kicked out of school and going on to have a second child to “prove” to people that it wasn’t a mistake, Stevens and her then-partner split up.
Feeling so much shame due to her teen pregnancy and failed relationship, the next chapter in her book was a tale as old as time.
“I ended up in a very abusive marriage,” she shares. “I thought my mother would always be there to save me, but you need to develop that strength on your own.”
Opening up about the immense emotional toll of coming home from work every day, Stevens says she never knew which version of her partner would be waiting to greet her.
“I thought to myself, ‘I’m an adult female living in this household, scared, exhausted, worn out. What are my kids going through?’”
New Beginnings
After finally accepting that things were never going to get better, Stevens gathered the few things she could and took off one day while he was at work.
“I was able to secure a little bitty duplex unit in the same neighbourhood,” she tells me. “I couldn’t go far because the kids were in school.”
However, like many abusive situations, it doesn’t just end when you move out.
“When I was at work he would break into my apartment,” she says. “He would rearrange furniture, leave coffee cups on the table, make my bed, whatever he could do to let me know he’d been in our new home.”
“You’re just waiting to exhale,” she shares. “Waiting for that point when you and your children are free from all of this.”
Sigh Of Relief
The opportunity to finally breathe again came in the form of an unexpected phone call.
“My attorney rang me to let me know that he died,” she says. “And as cold as it sounds, I just wept and wept from pure unadulterated relief.”
And although they had moved to another state at this point and were hundreds of miles from him, Stevens was still always looking over her shoulder.
“It sounds cruel,” she adds. “But it was finally over.”
It Just Takes One
Despite her own experience being burned by love in the past and falling for her ex-husband’s manipulation, Stevens still held the belief that good men were out there.
And she was proven exactly right when she met Marcus.
“I met him unexpectedly after the sudden death of my sister Constance,” she tells me. “I flew to Australia where she lived to help my mother pick up the pieces.”
Describing the moment she pulled up to her sister’s property for the first time, Stevens recalls meeting Marcus; the man who was building her sister’s art studio before her passing.
“He did this little bow before he opened the car door,” she smiles. “It was a little gesture and show of respect that I’ll never forget.”
While Stevens and her mother dealt with the funeral arrangements, Marcus ensured that everyone who knew Constance in the area was notified.
“I don’t remember him appearing in the mornings or disappearing in the evenings,” she says. “He was just always there.”
Weeks went by where Marcus continued to show his gentle nature, but it wasn’t until Stevens got an unexpected knock at the door that she knew he was the “one.”
“The funeral director arrived at the door with Constance’s urn,” she explains. “I just flew out the back door, fell to my knees and started wailing.”
While finally accepting the heartbreaking reality that her sister was gone, Stevens felt a little touch on her shoulder. It was Marcus.
“He said, ‘Patricia, please, come with me,’ and he grabbed my hand. “”He held me, he hugged me, and I just cried and cried.”
“That moment secured the deal in my heart of hearts,” she says. “I just felt that I was with one of the most peaceful souls I’ve ever encountered.”
Explaining how her relationship with Marcus has changed her view on love, Stevens puts her coffee down and thinks for a second.
“Love doesn’t have to be loud,” she says. “And happiness doesn’t have to come in a monumental way.”
“Happiness is something we choose,” she adds. “We’re going to be miserable and lost after experiencing heartbreak or loss, but we can decide to be happy again.”
If you want to read more about Stevens’ story, you can buy her book Madness in Memphis here.
(If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732)
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