What is a swingers party?
Swingers clubs, also known as sex or adult lifestyle clubs, are organised groups which engage in sex and sexually related activities.
Sex clubs differ from brothels in that patrons only engage in sex acts with one another, not with sex workers, and often take place in private residences or rented locations to avoid legal issues.
International swingers clubs have varying rules and regulations for their members.
Formal clubs with specified locations operate with membership fees and often require patrons to provide sexual health screening tests, proof of identity and proof of relationship status.
Traditional swingers clubs have many rooms, some with windows where voyeurs can watch other patrons having sex. Other areas may have spas, large beds or couches with bondage equipment and social spaces for couples to mingle.
The practice of ‘swinging’ is sometimes referred to as wife, husband or partner swapping, with statistics suggesting 32 percent of long-term couples would be open to experimenting with the swinging lifestyle.
Are there many swingers clubs in Australia?
Australia has a broad range of swingers clubs, with some geared towards couples and others targeted at single females.
Most heterosexual establishments do not allow single men, but a growing number of gay and bisexual sex clubs are springing up nationwide.
Most states boast a variety of clubs suitable for every taste and curiosity, with liberal, European-influenced Melbourne unsurprisingly known as Australia’s swinging capital.
Red Light Australia estimate around seven swingers events are held in Sydney every weekend, with clubs like Bondi Swingers allowing admission on an elite aesthetic basis determined on looks, weight and age.
Aussie swingers can also find parties and couples clubs in Perth, Brisbane, Darwin and Adelaide.
How to find a swingers party
Most major cities across Australia, North America and Europe have exclusive swingers clubs, which are open to the public but generally keep a low profile.
They are hidden, off the beaten track and almost always BYO booze.
Typically clubs do not advertise to the general public, but focus their marketing on forums like the Swingers Social Network, swingers sites and adult entertainment publications.
To find local swingers events, simply try a Google search for clubs ‘near me’.
You can find a comprehensive list of every swingers club in Australia here, with details on dress code, membership guidelines and location.
Preparation for first time swingers
Your first time ‘swinging’ can be an intimidating, daunting experience.
Seasoned swingers stress the importance of proper education and preparation, particularly when it comes to communication between couples trying it out for the first time.
The first thing to be mindful of is not all couples who frequent adult lifestyle clubs are there to have sex with other people – some simply go to swingers clubs to have sex with their own partner.
Most commonly, couples will swap partners with another pair and have sex. Threesomes and other forms of experimental activities do happen, but as the exception and not the norm.
Almost all websites dedicated to swinging note that among the vast majority of first time swingers, one partner is significantly more eager and open to the idea of expanding their sexual network than the other.
Be sure to communicate your feelings as clearly as you can before dipping a toe in the water – otherwise, you leave yourself and your relationship open to hurt and often irreparable damage.
Discuss and plan all possible scenarios that may occur during your first-time visit to avoid drama or tears on the night.
A number of Quora users who have experimented with swinging advise laying ground rules before your first visit, such as asking one another permission to kiss, touch or engage in a sex act with another individual or couple before doing so.
Sex experts Thrillist put it best by saying ‘swinging simply doesn’t work if you don’t communicate’.
What to expect from your first time
According to stories posted on forums like Reddit and Quora, the average age of swingers club members is between 30 and 45.
It’s a good idea to arrive on time to avoid any awkwardness – the last thing you want for your first time is to make an entrance hours late when everyone has already started having sex!
Couples and singles alike usually mingle in a designated social area inside the party, where attendees chat and discuss boundaries of ‘play’ before getting down to business.
Once you have negotiated the agreed terms of your dalliance, all involved parties move to a separate part of the club for the main event.
Alternatively, you and your partner may have already started to have sex when another couple sits down next to you – this indicates their desire to join in the fun.
Thought Catalog warns this can be unnerving for first time swingers, so be prepared to have a few sets of eyes watching you!
‘No we’re ok thanks’
The swinging world operates under the mantra ‘no means no’, which you can use to politely convey that you and your partner aren’t interested in experimenting with another couple, individual or group.
There is no obligation to participate in any activity inside a swingers club – you can simply go to mingle and watch as a way of easing yourself in without pressure.
Other linguistic phrases to understand include ‘hard swap’, which means a couple is game for full blown sex with another pair.
Similarly, ‘soft swap’ indicates you are willing to engage in some fun and foreplay, but not all-out penetrative intercourse.
Unicorns
While some imagine swingers clubs to be filled with attractive, open minded women, the reality is single females are few and far between in the world of swinging.
So rare, in fact, they are referred to as ‘unicorns’ in the adult lifestyle community and are often given free or significantly reduced admission.
Dress code for first-time swingers
Contrary to popular belief, not all swingers (read: essentially none) dress in promiscuous ensembles featuring fishnets, thigh-skimming skirts and over the knee PVC boots.
The dress code at standard swingers clubs is usually very relaxed, and chances are if the night goes successfully you won’t be wearing very much by the end anyway.
The only exception to this rule is where a club is hosting a fetish or themed night.
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