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Survivor star candidly shares her miscarriage heartbreak

"I love her and she is in my heart forever."
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Survivor star El Rowland has taken to Instagram to speak candidly about her journey through pregnancy loss.

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The army veteran, who appeared on the 2016 season of Australian Survivor, posted a video of moments from her four-month pregnancy, alongside a caption recounting her difficult experience.

She explained after trying to conceive for 18 months, she found out she was pregnant in December last year.

“My world stood still as I tried to process the sheer joy and full fear of having another baby,” she wrote.

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El has opened up about pregnancy loss. (Credit: Instagram) (Credit: Instagram)
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The post went on to explain her struggle with Hyperemesis gravidarum, a severe form of morning sickness, before then losing her baby at 16 weeks.

“It’s been a time of learning, of healing and of recovery and sharing a snap shot of my story with you is a way for me to process and heal,” El wrote.

“I don’t want to be like the one of four women who suffer in silence and don’t share the terrible pain of losing a baby. I don’t want to pretend she never existed because she did and I love her and she is in my heart forever.”

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“If you’re one with a similar story to this, I hope this validates your feelings.” (Credit: Instagram) (Credit: Instagram)
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She addressed the post toward those who might have also suffered from pregnancy loss.

“If you’re one with a similar story to this, I hope this validates your feelings. Whether they are the same ones as mine or not. I hope it gets easier, I hope we all find the peace we crave,” she wrote.

Followers were quick to share their compassion in the comments.

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El also shared gratitude for her family. (Credit: Instagram) (Credit: Instagram)
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“Thinking of you. 💞,” a follower wrote.

“I’m so sorry for your loss beautiful, sending lots of love to you and your family xx,” another said.

“Very heartbroken for you all. Sending love, hugs and prayers from Texas. 😢,” an international fan shared.

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El rose to fame on her 2016 season of Australian Survivor. (Credit: Instagram) (Credit: Instagram)
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El was known on her season of Australian Survivor partly for the relationship she formed with runner-up Lee Carseldine, a former cricket player.

They announced their split at the beginning of 2019, with El speaking publicly about the difficulty of their breakup.

“It was tough and purely for my loyalty I stuck with that [the relationship], but if I went on my emotions, I would have probably broken up right at the beginning because we didn’t speak the same love languages,” she said on a podcast.

WATCH: Lee Carseldine leaves Survivor after mother suffers stroke and dies

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El dated Lee Carseldine from her season. (Credit: Ten) (Credit: Ten)

The split was announced via Instagram.

I gave my all to Lee and tried my hardest to keep us together although it was super complicated,” El wrote.

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“Life is tough, you need to find people in your journey that enhance it, unfortunately, the rollercoaster I was on in this relationship wasn’t healthy for either of us.”

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El is now married to her husband, Apakuki. (Credit: Instagram) (Credit: Instagram)

El married her husband, Apakuki, some 10 months later in December, 2019.

She also has a son from a previous relationship, called Darcey.

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