As women, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of negative self-talk. You know, the “I feel uncomfortable in these clothes”, “I wish I looked like her”, “Why don’t I have a flatter tummy?” type of conversations we have with ourselves.
Now, it’s OK to admit that body confidence and self-love can’t be learned overnight. In fact, they’re not even a final destination – learning them is a journey of highs and lows.
But one thing is for sure, it’s possible to feel beautiful, confident and powerful, and treat the woman you see in the mirror with as much respect and love as you would your daughters, sisters, mothers and friends.
Natalie Angel, body positivity advocate and founder of fashion try-on and styling Instagram account Let Me Try Before You Buy, has known this journey firsthand.
Despite thriving in her confidence for most of her adult life, she admits to spiralling into a deep, dark place regarding her body image and self-confidence after the birth of her first child five years ago.
“I had to have an emergency C-section [which really] changes your lower tummy and I just didn’t identify with the woman in my mirror at all,” she says.
“I could look at other women [of all sizes] and see beauty in them, [but thought,] ‘Why can’t I see beauty in myself?’”
Fashion’s role
While there are many elements that go into building your body confidence, figuring out what kind of fashion you like and what you want to wear is a great and relatively simple place to start.
And that’s the aim of Natalie’s Let Me Try Before You Buy Instagram – where she tries on clothes from a variety of different brands in extensive videos that give viewers practical styling tips, no matter their size.
“The disconnect between the Australian fashion industry and the Australian woman is massive,” she says.
“So what I’m trying to do is mediate between the two by displaying my lumps and bumps, by being vulnerable. I have a tummy, cellulite and all that normal stuff. Women see that and then relax and say, ‘OK, she looks like me.’”
Finding yourself a community, whether it be Natalie’s or someone else’s, where women you can relate to come together in a positive space, can help mend destructive self-talk.
Focus on the good
Instead of looking at what you don’t have or wish you had, focus on what you do have, especially things not tied to your image, because you’re so much more than that.
“Be comfortable in the fact we women change through the cycle of life, and our bodies will naturally change with that. It’s completely normal,” says Natalie.
“Be more practical and reasonable in your assessment of your body rather than emotional. Women talk about themselves in the nastiest way, but they’d never talk about another woman like that. Decide to stop negative self-talk. When you make the change, it’s so freeing.”
Dress to suit your shape
From pregnancy to menopause, there are endless milestones in a woman’s life that might change their shape.
According to Natalie, the important thing is to accept this is totally normal and embrace it by using fashion to highlight the body parts you love best!
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